kurisu's blog

Just checking in

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Submitted by kurisu on

Hi all,

I don't post here much anymore, but I'll always feel a certain attachment to this community for being my first support in the struggle against PMO. My life has seen two major changes lately that I'd like to blog about.

S-Anon - for those affected by somebody else's sexual behavior

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Submitted by kurisu on

Do you or did you ever have someone in your life whose sexual behavior has affected you negatively? Maybe you were abused, maybe sex was demanded of you, maybe you were coerced into uncomfortable or demeaning forms of sex. Maybe it ended years ago but you still haven't recovered. Regardless of the reason, if this is you, then I highly recommend this group, S-Anon. It is the companion group to Sexaholics Anonymous, as Al-anon is to AA.

http://www.sanon.org/

Day 4, but minimal symptoms

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Submitted by kurisu on

Last weekend I was invited to a party, the rare kind of party that not only consisted entirely of mature adults, but a social circle that I actually *gasp* FIT IN with. It was glorious. In previous years, I would have felt anxious and terrible about going to these kinds of parties. But this time, the anxiety was much less. That's because I've gotten a lot better at accepting myself for who I am, as I am, at any given point in time. I may not have had much to talk about or been the life of the party, but I went there knowing and accepting this fact.

Generic depressed blog entry #172

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Submitted by kurisu on

Depression. It's been here for days, no apparent cause. Can't enjoy anything. Yesterday I hung out with an old friend for half of the day. We walked around a lake in the brilliant sunshine for over an hour. I felt nothing. Nothing. No joy at seeing my friend, who is a very popular person and valued friend and yet who called me and wanted to see me and only me. Out of all the friends she could have spent time with, she chose me. She cooked me a meal. And I felt nothing. The sun, the lake, the exercise, being out in nature...nope, absolutely nothing. Just emptiness all around.

Even more emotional cleaning...

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Submitted by kurisu on

Well now, this is really something. It is becoming clear to me that I may have had romantic feelings for a friend I used to know. I really had no idea. I truly thought we were just friends. It's kind of embarrassing that I could have those feelings for years without identifying them. I'm not sure whether to credit EFT/tapping for this sudden revelation or not, but all I know is that these emotional clarifications did not start until after I started the EFT.

No major improvements, but I opened a business

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Submitted by kurisu on

Hi all,

As the title says, there isn't much to report on in terms of PMO recovery. Ever since I found out about and began treating the abuse from my childhood, the frequency of my relapses has dropped dramatically, to about 50% of what it was before. I first noticed this a couple of months ago. Currently, the situation remains the same--half the relapses, but no further improvement. My first reaction to this is that I'm just so happy and thankful that I was able to cut back that much all on my own!

Off on a tangent - My first crush

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Submitted by kurisu on

Hi everybody, I hope you don't mind if I post something a little off topic. But it is vaguely related to the themes of this site. What I'm about to write might sound pathetic to some of you, coming from a 30-year-old, but trust me that it will help my recovery process if I just sort out these thoughts. The thing is, my first crush did not end favorably, and it took me until now to realize I never really worked out my thoughts and feelings about it. I just sort of buried the whole thing. Now it's time to deal with it, 18 years later.

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