I was hit with this one thought this morning. I don't want to have great sex. I don't want to have what is commonly thought of as "sex" at all. I want to transcend it and become one with the soul of my lover - surrender to him and to love - and connect with the oneness that is the spirit of everything. The question is, is that just up to me? Or do I have to rely on him to figure these things out too? Is this something I can attain on my own? Or is he, and his state of mind, dependent on this as well?