Tonight a very unexpected thing occured. I was sitting on the couch reading a book while my wife tucked the kids in. When she was done she came down stairs and stood in front of me. I cleared the stuff that was sitting beside me on the couch so she could sit. However, she surprised me by plopping down onto my lap. She smiled at me, and I kissed her, and we kissed for a while.
She told me that she read an article in the paper today about how 25% of married couples report having little or no sex. She said that on one hand, it made her feel better to know that we were not the only ones, but it was also sad. We talked about how tired and run down she has felt for the past couple of years and how it has affected our sex life.
I decided there was never going to be a better time and I mentionned the idea of slow sex. I told her that we had gotten too caught up in the idea that sex required lots of passion and energy and maybe it was time to look at slower and gentler ways to make love. I also told her that making love did not have to mean sex all the time. There was a whole spectrum of things that we could enjoy together.
She thought about it for a minute. She then told me that she has really enjoyed the cuddling we have been doing this summer. She found it very comforting and relaxing. I told her that sex could be like that too. It could be an easy and relaxing kind of thing. She seemed skeptical but did not say anything. I sensed at that point that the seeds had been planted and it was best to back off and give them some time to grow. We changed subjects.
I have been thinking about how best to introuduce the subject of karezza. I never expected to get such an obvious opportunity. Sometimes life hands you a gift.
It feels like the wind has changed directions. We will see where it blows us now.