Emily Morse (Sex with Emily): Orgasms, Kegels & Sexology - #233

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Most of her portion is standard sexology "advice," which contradicts itself repeatedly ("No, vibrators won't desensitize you, but if they do, give 'em a rest."), but he recounts his experiment with cutting back on ejaculation in the first third of the program. Kinda interesting.



It does seem funny.

It does seem funny.

It's so odd. I feel so "superior" to people who talk like that, even though I know I'm not. I don't want to feel like that. It's like I'm on a high horse looking down on them. I know something and they don't and they won't listen to me.

It's not even frustrating anymore, and it just seems kinda dumb. Like when you have some spiritual kind of enlightenment experience and you just want to go "Don't you see?! Don't you see?!" - only it's not some spiritual kind of floaty LSD thing, it's very basic, useful, grounded information. Karezza might give you some spiritual sensations or whatnot, but honestly, for me it's mostly about how earthy and real it makes everything seem, how stable it makes things. No need to be constantly on edge for no reason anymore, just relax.

At least sex sorts itself out now, one thing less to worry about.

Makes me confident about at least one thing in my life. Sometimes I joke around and tell people:

"If there's one thing I'm confident in, it's sex. I have no stamina, I have weak erections, and I have no technique whatsoever, but women love me"

"Huh? That doesn't sound like good sex."

"Oh, but I have the one thing people really want from sex, and I'm very good at it."

"And what is that?"

"If it was something I could just tell you about, people would talk about it. But it's something that can't be talked about. It has nothing to do with words. Don't get me wrong, I know it perfectly, logically, and coherently, but it cannot be told."

"Dude, are you high?"

And so it goes.

I hear you

I've learned to wait until someone asks. They just can't hear it otherwise. I saw this on a sexology listserve today, and it made me chuckle, as this particular listserve has some of the worst offenders as far as pathological denial of facts is concerned:

Subject: Who needs facts?


"Recently, a few political scientists have begun to discover a human tendency deeply discouraging to anyone with faith in the power of information. It’s this: Facts don’t necessarily have the power to change our minds. In fact, quite the opposite. In a series of studies in 2005 and 2006, researchers at the University of Michigan found that when misinformed people, particularly political partisans, were exposed to corrected facts in news stories, they rarely changed their minds. In fact, they often became even more strongly set in their beliefs. Facts, they found, were not curing misinformation. Like an underpowered antibiotic, facts could actually make misinformation even stronger… “The general idea is that it’s absolutely threatening to admit you’re wrong,” says political scientist Brendan Nyhan, the lead researcher on the Michigan study. The phenomenon — known as “backfire” — is “a natural defense mechanism to avoid that cognitive dissonance.”

I'm surprised your erections are weak. Did this issue pre-date your karezza experiments? Or do you mean "even if I have a weak erection" (as during gentle intercourse erections come and go)?

Hmm... I'd say it was less of

Hmm... I'd say it was less of an issue before I stopped masturbating (which was like 3 years ago), actually. They used to be stronger. I'm often tired and I don't really know why. I've had pretty much all the tests at the doctor's I could think of and nothing came of it, so I guess it's just how I am.

It's enough to have sex though, even with condoms, it's just that I'm not poking holes into walls or anything and my libido is generally weak. I'm not getting old yet either, so I really don't know what it could be.

I guess we can't all be testosterone laden sex machines. And hey, with Karezza even someone like me can keep up with the best of them and go many times a day for long amounts of time :) (Even if I sometimes wish I wanted it more)

I just come with some limitations and I'm learning to accept them.


Most people on the forum report that their erections are stronger, so I'm just curious as to why your experience has been different.

And yes, we all have to accept our limitations sometimes.Dash 1

No idea why it's different.

No idea why it's different. When I stopped with the orgasms I did indeed have the experience that my erections got a lot stronger, I had increased energy in all aspects of life and things were amazing.

And then it just went away and now I think I have about as much or a bit less even than before. And it's been like that for a long while now.

It's a bit annoying, seeing how different life could be and then being thrown back into the same old. But I think I've gotten used to it again. A tired life without energy isn't bad, it's just different and I have to manage my expectations. No use crying over what could have been.

Believe me, I've tried

Believe me, I've tried basically everything and had all my blood levels checked for many things multiple times. I also eat well (Ayurvedic diet, good stuff. Lots of veggies and rice and mung beans and spices)

I am not on any medication.

Zlarp, are you getting enough

Zlarp, are you getting enough essential fatty acids, such as found in nuts and especially free-range eggs?

Good food selection is important, and it sounds like you are solidly on that path.

But, our foods -- even those foods that are organically grown -- are often depleted of minerals. 'Nutrient dense foods' is a term that is important to me, now. 'The Intelligent Gardener' by Steve Solomon convincingly makes the case that one may have to grown one's own food, using techniques that ensure the full range of minerals is available to the plant, to get optimal nutrition. The two techniques are (1) getting a lab analysis of your garden soil and (2) amending the soil to optimal levels.

Just 'food for thought,' friend!