"Losing Our Touch" (NYT)

Marnia's picture
Submitted by Marnia on


Glad to see that some people are waking up!

I've been aware of the challenges of securing safe touch for a long time now. As a sensitive single man who knows that non-sexual touch is important to my healing and who is powerfully triggered by any kind of sexual charge, it's been a massive eye-opener for me to see how alienated we are from simple loving human touch.

I sense it is tied to our fear of the pain of early childhood bonding trauma. We would rather pretend it doesn't exist. I ran into this article as I was searching for clues in my own past: http://www.nopunish.net/pwp-ch11.htm

This particular piece intrigued me:

" Of utmost importance to Sulzer was that children be trained to:

"1. willingly do as they are told,
"2. willingly refrain from doing what is forbidden, and
"3. accept the rules made for their sake." "

This is from a man (Sultzer) who advocated harsh physical correction to an infant under the age of 1 year old. His ideas were widely followed in 19th century Europe. Although I doubt I received the harshness that Sulzer advocated, his objectives are identical to what I grew up with. Food for thought? What would happen if we healed ourselves of the wounds that stopped us from thinking for ourselves? What would happen if we faced the fears of our infant selves and empowered ourselves to stand up to the memory of our parenting? In my mind, this process is heavily connected to sensing our bodies and touch.

Thanks for the post, Marnia. Very interesting article.