After about 3 years of being cognizant of these ideas, I finally got the courage to ask my partner to try the Exchanges with me. He agreed (though in large part to support me, and "try something different") and it was a lovely three weeks. I felt more "on", more energized, way more stable emotionally, and present. I was able to laugh things off easily, and laugh more loudly than I have in a long time.
Our intercourse exchanges were very awkward. He felt that he just was fighting the urge the move the whole time, and we didn't really feel "anything." We were really unsure of how much we could move or if we should just be still. It was pretty frustrating and not what I had hoped at all. I know that it takes time to readjust to a different way of making love.
Since my partner wasn't super on board for his own seek previous to the Exchanges, we're left wondering where to go from here. I'm certain I want to keep avoiding orgasm, he's sure that he doesn't. The difficult part is, he is having a hard time allowing me to let go of orgasms. He really insists that it's an important way to bond. It seems like he's really going to miss that intense experience with me. But I keep saying (mostly in my head so far) because I don't want to get into a fight, that I it's my body, my neurochemistry, and I want to decide how to manage my sexual energy. If I'm happy avoiding orgasm, and feel fulfilled, then it's about him. I wonder if me giving up orgasm nudges him towards acknowledging it more for himself, the negative affects on him from the passion cycle?
Basically we're just not sure where to go from here. It's stressful not knowing when we are going to make love next, stressful trying to let him know I am interested in making love without approaching him in a "hungry" way. Likely I am experiencing some fallout from the non-orgasmic, conventional sex we've had a few times this week, plus the effects on him from his orgasms. Yikes.
I know people come to different solutions on this but any advice you have on how to move forward after the Exchanges when one partner is more keen than the other to avoid orgasm would be appreciated. We have a great relationship and do lots of bonding behaviours every day.
Thanks in advance for your thoughts.