mr. drew's blog

30 Days Free! A free PMO-recovery e-Course

Submitted by mr. drew on

Hey all,

I first visited this site 3 years ago after devouring Marnia's excellent book.

Over that time, I've had a long journey of exploration through relationships, solo practice, Tantra, and a host of other learning experiences. About three months ago, I ran across the Reddit forum /nofap/, which is a group of nearly 40,000 guys who are healing themselves from their porn / masturbation / orgasm addictions (PMO).

Loss of Control

Submitted by mr. drew on

The trouble with orgasms is that they are not entirely within our control.

The need for control comes from a place of insecurity. When fear of the future, fear of intimacy, or fear or disempowerment drive your life, orgasm becomes a threatening event that makes you less.

The post-orgasmic neurochemical valley becomes something to fear. The refractory period becomes something to fear. The additional cravings become something to fear.

At least 6 months

Submitted by mr. drew on

I have been roughly following the principles in CPA for roughly 6 months.

What a challenging journey its been.

First of all, the world in general is not ready for these ideas. I have encountered skepticism, humor, and downright hostility to the idea that people should make decisions about when they have orgasms. I have been told that I, as a somewhat controlling and occasionally rigid individual, need to think about restricting / controlling my orgasms *last*. This may be true.

Day Two

Submitted by mr. drew on

So it's day two.

Day one, really -- still less than 24 hours since I was dropped on the top of the dopamine rollercoaster, only to plunge and plummet to those sickly depths.

Last night was pretty rough. Today was a bit easier, and while the cravings are still there, they are maybe a touch less.

It's interesting to be single and going through this orgasm cycle. Marnia is right -- her work is focused on habit and harmony in sexual relationships, that is, in intimate partnerships -- and would be easier to adapt to that circumstance.