Day 182: Swagger's back

Submitted by Mr_8 on
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It's been awhile since I posted in my blog. I've noticed many new members have come along since then. As well as website updates :) Winter has be rough on me as I don't take well to winter. However, I am doing fantastic. Since this whole process I've learned more than I could imagine. I'm on day 182 now, I had some close call relapses a month ago...however I powered through it.

It seems as I come to fix something within my life a whole new set of problems cropped up. With this whole PMO/rebooting process was to help me with my anxiety and relationships with women. About 100 mark I thought everything was fixed...however I was able to nail it down to social anxiety as my primary my problem. Many years of PMO further negated my efforts to control my anxiety.

I'm glad to finally say that thanks to the PMO/rebooting process my anxiety is now under control. I have taken major steps to get me this far, PMO/rebooting was a major part of it. The rest was hard work and diligence. I can legitimately say I have swagger. My interactions with women have gotten a lot better. Since my last post, I've had a girl take me home with her and some random encounters with others. I wouldn't say I'm a Casanova but I'm happy to be where I am at. But I am a force to reckon with! Spring is around the corner. I'll try to post up around my 200 day mark.

The only issue I'm currently dealing with is a slight temper and aggressiveness against other unruly males.

Comments

This community has been

This community has been nothing but positive people. I found what brought me success was diligence, perseverance and patience. The things they taught as you as a kid school. And its true! Also make no excuses for yourself! You're ultimately responsible for your own actions.

Realize as a person that you're not perfect. Accepting the problem and own it. It empowers you instead of empowering the problem. Never give up...you're fighting for yourself and your livelihood. And only you can be responsible for that. I had find many ways to make this work for me. I kept at it, whether it was hitting the gym, meditation or selling my PlayStation 3. I exhausted about every outlet till I found the pieces that worked for me.

Everybody is different when it comes to their perception of success. However diligence, perseverance and patience are strengths within everyone. When you understand that, you can come closer to reaching your success. I've been kicked down so many times on this journey I would tell you that it made me work harder. I refused to give up. There were so many times I felt that I failed but I kept at it. It may not have been apparent in my blog posts but I stayed positive and focused only on the positive. Some people may think being positive is cheesy but it worked for me. The power of positive thought is truly amazing.

Fantastic!

Mr_8, this is wonderful! I am in a similar position to where you were, with social anxiety being the number one problem in my life. Your post is inspiring for people like me. If you wouldn't mind sharing more, would you be willing to talk about how you overcame some of your biggest hangups with social anxiety? It would be helpful to a lot of us I think. And I agree, this community is a huge help--I made a lifetime record recently, all because of this place. Good luck!

no pain no gain

My biggest hangups would be socially interacting period and sometimes it would leave me drained. Like I would seriously be drained after an afternoon at the mall or grocery shopping session. I decided not to go the pharmaceutical route to control my anxiety. Instead I had chose to eat healthy, worked out at least 3 times a week, cut back on the caffeine and sugar. Also vitamins and herbal supplements were added to the mix to top it all off.

What helped was I forced myself to go out and get use to this feeling. And after awhile it wasn't bad at all I could manage it and tolerate it. Eventually I became numb to that anxiety feeling. It's always there but I could keep my mind quiet and not let it take over. Anxiety made me believe or feel something bad was going to happen. But in the end nothing bad or embarrassing ever really happens. Your brain only makes you believe it will be so.

The only drawback I found is that you have to keep going out to keep your brain use to this to create that synaptic plasticity in your brain. So I force myself to leave the house often to run little errands that I might interact with people. I would create mini-missions such starting brief conversation with a stranger. I would do this most of the time when I went out. However if you spend a week or two at home like a hermit...social anxiety will creep back on you hard. I learned this the hard way. So you got to flex those social muscle even if you're not a natural socializer. Some socializing is better than none!

I am a social drinker so having a couple drinks helps ease the social anxiety. So many of you may benefit from going out at night and having some drinks. I had to really push myself hard to see what my limits were.

Hey Mr_8

It's great to see you back here again. Your story is inspiring! I experience that social exhaustion you talk about and I'm impressed at how you systematically worked through it.

I'm curious. How much do you think your reboot helped your new social anxiety? Compared with the other stuff you mentioned (exercise, eating healthy etc).

Glad to hear you're doing well. It's so great to hear stories of guys that have gone a long time and have experienced amazing benefits.

Hope you'll swagger back here more often. :)

Social Anxiety

Rebooting helped my social anxiety tremendously...where I could manage it and give me a confidence that I've always felt I was lacking. But rebooting wasn't enough as I had to work through other imbalances in my life. Everybody is different, however we all have to start somewhere. Rebooting was a great start.

Good stuff

Thanks for sharing man, I'm still trying to go on a long reboot streak and this is the kind of inspirational ammo I need. Kudos!