I am 26 years old - Suffering from ED for the last couple of years and I will give you some background about it
I started masturbating without porn when I was 13 years old . This was the best feeling the world and before I knew I was hooked on it
By 15 I was introduced to porn by a friend. And I was totally hooked on it . I didn't have a computer in my house so I used to
go to Internet cafes and spend hours watching porn everyday. And come home and Masturbate .This habit continued till I I got my computer . I would watch porn since my family used to go to sleep around midnight till usually 5am .I will masturbate a couple of times everything. I had a girlfriend but she lived out of state and we never had sex .
By 18 I was still a virgin and one I was watching porn everyday - I had a crazy sex drive. I never had a wet dream I was masturbating every
day without exception. The first time I had sex was with this girl. My first time it was awful I didn't have any sensation at all -it felt like a chore it wasn't at all I saw in the videos.I blamed it on the woman and my inexperience -she wasn't tight enough and I didn't have any experience.Never saw her again .Next time I had sex was a year later with this another girl when I was 18 again and this time I lasted a long time and I fucked her like crazy full hard but the sensation wasn't strong and I was using a condom. I in my head thought that the lack of sensation that I felt is an advantage that I can use to last longer. I feel the longer you last the better is it for the other person. I wanted it to be a performance the same way I used to see it in the videos. I lasted a long time and she loved it as far as I know and boosted my confidence a lot. I thought I was porn star.
At age 19 I am masturbating everyday - sometimes a couple of times. from teen porn I moved to mature ladies porn - and now i get my first gf that i can have regular sex with . The first time I tried to last a long time constantly trying prolong the session. I wanted to have sex for atleast 1 hour every time . I would go soft but I could get it back hard. We used to it in the car. My gf was very insecure and I always thought I could do better . The first couple of months was ok - I never enjoyed sex but I always blamed i on the fact that she wasnt hot enough. I started experiencing a lack if interest in sex By age 21 I cheated on her - and I was rock hard.so it was confirmed it was my gf. I would go to clubs and grind with girls to make sure i got erections. a few months later we broke up
By age 23 - I am still masturbating everyday and this is when I realized something is wrong with me . Where I meet this my friend to have sex with her and I couldn't get it up . And that has been a prb since and I started exercising and blamed it on my smoking habit. but nothing changed - Last year it was confirmed I had problem with by third girlfriend but I couldn't tell her. I started using Marijuana and for some reason when I was high I would get rock hard and it used to feel very good and the sensations was great. I could not get erect without getting high. I broke up with her a couple months later
Now I was this girl - I am in love with her - She is beautiful with a perfect body and she's very sexy . So I know for a fact that shes my type. Everytime I have sex with her I can't get it up. We have had sex maybe 5 times and that's usually of me abstaining for a week without sex and everytime I am having sex with her - I am worried that I will cum to soon. She seems like an understanding person, But I can't tell her my problem . I feel she will judge me and tell other people. She is 19 years old- and I don't want t freak her out . I told her I am complicated and now she thinks there is something wrong with me, Right now I have told her that I have a problem getting bored with girls and I don't want to loose her thats why i want to abstain from sex. I think it bothers her alot. I don't know what to do?
Should I tell her or not ? I feel if I tell her she would tell that to other people ? I am confused because this is a huge confession
And what about this PMO thingy - I can somehow explain to her that we are not going to have sex for 90 days -she said she will understand
but i am not sure if I will be back to normal after 90 days ? and should I eat her out ? should i penetrate and no ejacualte so many problems that I dont have the answer too-
" I don't feel like a man when I can't make love to the woman I love"
Please help me