Day 28 - Ripples

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but not bad. We had a wonderful date this afternoon at a concert with some of the great musicians of our day from the front row. The violinist in the chamber group is her teacher. The pianist was an inspiration to me.

I'm suffering ripples. I would like to connect with my girl more and hopefully head in the right direction. The connection is good, but I get ripples to men and I'm craving other women, but not quite - in a half-hearted kind of way. I want to breathe more and relax, but my porn mind is telling me otherwise. I'm glad I have 30 minutes a day to meditate, which is very helpful to train me to divert attention. I am dying for some sweet P**** which is not my girl's, and I know this isn't right. Things should work out, but it's just tough for a while, when I'm half-horny, not so much even physically, but I'm craving lots of sex.

I hope exchanges tonight will be relaxing and full of breathing, and not so horny. I'll have to ask my girlfriend, and explain to her where I am and that I need to heal. I hope she goes along with it. It would make my life very easy.



is very fertile ground for searching around for something that offers a kick. Hopefully, it'll ease up as your brain's dopamine levels out a bit more.

Glad you enjoyed the concert.

Evening out

Reading all the accounts, I believe things will even out. I will try to be careful - I know it's a risky time. I am hopeful it will even out to where it needs to be between us. I am getting hints of reasons to be optimistic of this.

We're planning to go to a concert on Thursday too, featuring a couple of my jazz buddies - identical twins! I was an avid concertgoer before all this. I'm glad to be getting back to where I belong. And my partner is the most wonderful person to go with. She's a better musician than I am, so we really fill each other's needs in terms of understanding and enjoying what we're hearing. At least she fills mine. She doesn't know if she'll be able to go yet, but I'm happy to go alone too, if not with friends. And I love when my friends perform. These guys are doing this gig as a culmination of a 1 1/2 year long project they've been working on. From what I understand, this should be a special night. So, nice to be coming back.