Things have been going well. In general I've been feeling a lot more confident. Social anxiety is also getting less. Libido has definitely returned. However I had a very weird day yesterday At night I got really depressed out of nowhere and felt like I was losing my mind. I was extremely paranoid. I also had random anxiety. I Aldo felt the strongest urge to pmo that I probably ever have had. This porn scene that I always loved was just calling my name. Literally everypart of me wanted to pmo but I somehow managed to just say no over and over thanks to this site and ybop because I know it will set me back and I've been doing a really good job so far. . This morning I woke up with flu like symptoms. Not to sure how all of this is connected or if it is but it was a definite wake up call that I am not in the clear yet. I felt some of these negative feelings today; some anxiety and a small loss in confidence but it was def better than last night.
Guys rebooting should watch out for times like this. I hadn't had the urge to pmo in weeks so I felt like I had turned the corner. It was almost like my "pmo brain" was saving up power and released a giant urge after a few weeks when I was vulnerable. I kept thinking"one time wont hurt" but after 49 days I just can't go back.
I know rebooting isn't linear, but I just hope there wasn't something I did that sparked my pmo urges back up. I recently have had fantasies that are very "innocent" in that their not really about sex, but after last night I am going to start to eliminate these as well. Just as I planned I feel like I'm gonna have to go way over 60 days. Pmo has really been a huge part of my life for so long. It had become my favorite activity. It's gonna take time to defeat.