7week mark

Submitted by needhops on
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Things have been going well. In general I've been feeling a lot more confident. Social anxiety is also getting less. Libido has definitely returned. However I had a very weird day yesterday At night I got really depressed out of nowhere and felt like I was losing my mind. I was extremely paranoid. I also had random anxiety. I Aldo felt the strongest urge to pmo that I probably ever have had. This porn scene that I always loved was just calling my name. Literally everypart of me wanted to pmo but I somehow managed to just say no over and over thanks to this site and ybop because I know it will set me back and I've been doing a really good job so far. . This morning I woke up with flu like symptoms. Not to sure how all of this is connected or if it is but it was a definite wake up call that I am not in the clear yet. I felt some of these negative feelings today; some anxiety and a small loss in confidence but it was def better than last night.

Guys rebooting should watch out for times like this. I hadn't had the urge to pmo in weeks so I felt like I had turned the corner. It was almost like my "pmo brain" was saving up power and released a giant urge after a few weeks when I was vulnerable. I kept thinking"one time wont hurt" but after 49 days I just can't go back.

I know rebooting isn't linear, but I just hope there wasn't something I did that sparked my pmo urges back up. I recently have had fantasies that are very "innocent" in that their not really about sex, but after last night I am going to start to eliminate these as well. Just as I planned I feel like I'm gonna have to go way over 60 days. Pmo has really been a huge part of my life for so long. It had become my favorite activity. It's gonna take time to defeat.


Weird spikes

do sometimes happen, but it's also true that innocent fantasy can be a sort of "gateway drug" to reactivate the sensitized pathways you're trying to have fade away.

Self-observation will teach you everything you need to know. Can you spend your time planning how to meet real potential partners rather than fantasizing for now?