8 weeks + 3 days... venting

Submitted by needhops on
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I've decided that I should be harsher on myself about fantasy. It always seems to happen in the morning when im layin in bed and half awake. After I wake up i realize that I probably fantasized for maybe 15-20 mins. Today I totally stopped everything. the fantasys stop popping up for me after i denied about 3-5 of them, and i felt weird afterwards. Im not sure if its a coincidence, but I am also feeling more social anxiety and depression today. Depression was short lived, and anxiety wasnt stong, but it was definitely there. Maybe it was another dip, but I think that maybe these are separate withdrawal symptoms pertaining to fantasy. Anyone else have any idea?

I noticed a lot of improvement in the past few days socially, but i definitely did not feel as confident today. especially around girls. this is a major contrast to how I had felt the the past week or so when I was feeling very comfortable and social around women. It could also just be a late chaser to my wet dream episodes this past weekend. There are a lot of possible causes, and i've been pretty disciplined so i hope it was not anything that I did. I also realize im not done rebooting and its not a linear process so i might be making something out of nothing.

i also feel I need more experience socially. i feel like I have some bad associations from my PMO days when I would fear some social situations because I would be awkward and socially anxious. It is almost like im scarred. i need to break these negative associations and build positive ones that I had when i was younger. When i was younger i would go out of my way to talk to girls and not think about what i was going to say. It was all natural and it was always a good conversatoin.

Feeling kinda numb and weak downstairs. i could get hard if i thought about sex but this is the fantasy that im aiming to eliminate.I almost feel like this is a second flatine that is a product of fantasy elimination. It has only been a day so maybe im getting ahead of myself. [next day]----> after eliminating fantasy for a day I woke up with morning wood.