8 weeks/anti-relapse advice

Submitted by needhops on
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Its amazing that i am almost at the standard 60 days. As many have said, going this long in the past without PMO would have been unthinkable. I remember thinking about how painful it would be to never PMO again after reading ybop for an hour and a half. PMO was my favorite thing to do in the whole world. the true reason i got up every morning. I used to think that giving up masturbating would be the hardest part. Since I started of just masturbating, I felt like that was my problem. However, I don't have the urge to masturbate at all, but since I havent been on my favorite porn site for so long, sometimes I get the urge to check it out cuz i know there will be so many new videos. It's amazing how addicting porn can be. I can honestly say there was no way i could do it without the knowledge i read here and on ybop so thank you again gary and marnia and everyone else who shared their experience.

Last night I had another wet dream. Second night ive had one in 2 days and the 4th total wet dream in the past 2 days. This is very unusual. thankfully, still no chaser or negative effects from the recent wetdreams other than a lack of energy, which can be expected, and some extra horniess/fantasy the morning after they occuered. I also don't have that extra confidence that you get after storing sexual energy for a long time. I had an appointment today and had to talk with an attractive woman. I felt very normal and relaxed around her, which would have probably not been the case in the past. We were making small talk and i actully had to stop myself from talking because i realized that I was probably distracting her. it's good to know that wet dreams don't really mess up my perceptions of women anymore. Also, I did some reading, and what we dream about during a wet dream is in no way an indicator of our sexual preferences/desires. Apparently, you can have dreams that involve men,rape, or even animals, but it does not mean anything. This was something that kind of worried me so its good to know that its nothing.

I have seen a lot of people posting about relapsing which is very unfortunate. I have been doing very well, and am not yet completely cured, but i thought I could share some things I think about when I used to ( or when I will) feel the urge to PMO.

-PMO is not real. It is an artificial feeling/perception of sex. We all started PMOing for a variety of reasons, but in the end everyone on this site wants the real thing. Unforunately for us, we can't have both fake and real. You have to pick one. Do you want a real girl laying next to you when you finish, or do you want to be sitting there by yourself with your hand on your dick feeling like an absolute depressed loser( everyone here, including myself, should be able to somehow relate to this feeling)

-Life is short is an absolutely overused cliche. however, it is overused because it is true. when you are stuck in the PMO addiction, you are literally wasting your life away. you are wasting your energy, and you are wasting time. not only the time that you spend PMOing, but also the time that you feel the after effects, for me around 8-9 years. I would do anything to go back in time and tell the 12 year old version of myself to stop.

-think about a time, if you are one of the people who feel the social effects of pmoing (definitely me), when you were at a social event. you probably saw a bunch of attractive girls talking and having fun with other men. Maybe one of them even gave you a suggestive glance. However, you've been PMOing, and you are to nervous to go over and talk to them. Or maybe you grab your balls and go over. good job, except your now in a conversation where you feel so anxious, nervous, and pressured to make a good impression that you literally scare the girl away in under a minute. she and her friends walk away talking about how weird you were. you then spend the rest of the event envying and feeling jealous of the guys who are having fun with real girls.

-finally just think about being in bed with a girl that you really like and not getting hard. think of how embarassed you are, and the feeling that you disappointed a girl that you really liked, and even though you are a PMO monster, liked you back. if this is not enough, now realize that she will probably go out and have fun and sex with someone else, and probably end up forgetting about you because you are incapable of satisfying her.

Im sure that there are other things i could have said, but these are things that should really scare you straight. if you are thinking of pmoing, think of the consequences...

I relapsed twice, PMO binge after 2 weeks while drunk, and MO a week after that while sober. i am in no way perfect. however, another thing that helped me is this. it's purely mental and obvious, but maybe the phrasing can help some of you.

"for the next 60, 90, 120 days, you have literally one goal. Don't watch porn or masturbate. thats the only thing you have to do. "

obviously people have responsibilities. I have school. but i made it a point, if im feeling a PMO urge or starting to have uncontrollable fantasy, I would do something to take my mind of it ( which was usually work out). even if i was studying I would do this. the reason is, if im studying and i keep thinking about having sex with girls, im probably not doing a great job studying anyway, so why waste my time when i can come back in a little while with a clear mind? i also had the luxury of having withdrawal symptoms that sucked, but at the same time were manageable. when they were unmanageable and every part of my body was screaming "PMO! PMO!) i just thought of the 4 bullet points i listed above. (see 7 weeks)

i felt compelled to post all this because i keep reading blogs of people who have been knowingly stuck and trying to quit pmoing for years. I really feel bad because these people probably were addicted way worse than i was. who knows, maybe if i was in their shoes, i would be relapsing over and over again. anyway, i hope my advice can help and maybe prevent some of you from relapsing because we are all missing out on a lot of good things out there.

Comments

I really appreciate dis post

I really appreciate dis post simply for the fact that bcuz of dis PMO ordeal, i prolly lost out in 5 females that i was supposed to fuck and many other more that i just simply turned down bcuz i knew wat it was .... I swear to god each one of these experiences i went through tore me apart and it was not until my last failure with a female that ive known since 12 that I started sayin enough was enough and randomly stumbled on yourbrainonporn. That experience hurt me so much becuz ive known this girl for 8 yrs, shes sexy as fuck, and to top it off my mans could had no problems fuckin her friend in a seperate next to me while i coulrnt get it up. I literally wanted to cry wen she left my hotel that day and wat made it worse was that i had to see her every day after that, throughout that whole entire trip until left .... My god each day i saw her after that night felt so much shame, anger, and frustration that took me months to get over (and i still think ive even gotten over it till dis day ,.. anytime i revisit that even i literally get sad especially after makin up a lame excuse of not feelin well and seein her face as she stormed out my hotel room wit her friend, who she prolly told the whole humiliating ordeal too to top it off smh .... Anyways so fast forward from wen i went through that experience last june and me discovering ybop 2 months later and im currently a 160 sumthin days of no P (wit maybe a few mins relapse in btw) and currwntly 3 days of no PMO .. been wakin up wit mornin wood everyday now since i last MO'D and much stronger erections then wen i first started .... wanna be fully sexually potent so that i will never have to go through no experiences pike that again ... A few mins of PMO and then later goin through the shame not bein able to get it up to a woman is definitely not worth it ... Its a shame i mo'd tho on day 51 bcuz i woulda been just right behind u ... Thanks for the post

Good call man. For me, shame

Good call man. For me, shame is a pretty powerful teacher/ motivator. The next time I get tempted to PMO, I'll think about the times I've been unable to please girls that I've liked. I think this might be stronger than thinking about being where I want to be.

Same goes for me,scared a

Same goes for me,scared a shit out me , I want to be able to satisfy a woman and knowing that this shameful and frustrating experience is caused by my PMO is fearfull fact,as friend hotelcali said,quote : fear is a powerful motivator.

wow, i can relate to all of

wow, i can relate to all of that. the example's you used don't just relate to one incident for me, it relates to my entire life from age 13-22. thanks for being so blunt... in a way it's good to know that other people have gone through the same thing and are fighting the same thing i am.