9 weeks

Submitted by needhops on
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While I am happy to be at the 63 day mark, I realize that I definitely have to keep rebooting. When I think about it, pmo was such a big part of my life that it definitely left it's mark and will take time to go away. Especially since I started around age 12-13. The trend is overall definitely up, but my mood seems to still fluctuate on a daily basis. I'm starting to realize how much I used to think about sex. It is still on my mind without me even realizing, so I'm tryin to spend my time thinking of other things. I think it is getting less and less but it would not surprise me if I had to go 120 days. This whole thing is pretty confusing how sometimes I feel absolutely aMazing amd sometimes I feel anxious amd insecure. Still looking at girls a lot like sex objects In that I have the have the "get sex mode" a lot when I talk to girls. I haven't felt the feelings that others had in that they want to get To know the girl first. I want it to be like this but it just is not there yet. It is automatic amd definitely does not let me be myself. In some of my up days this completelt goes away( probably why I consider them up days). Guess I'll just have to be patient and let this sort itself out...

Comments

'sex mode'

Yeah man I also noticed a change, but its more like my 'sex mode' is a little different now. It's not just about 'sex' per se, but sex within the whole male-female dynamic. Ironic how you have to not be in 'sex mode' to actually be in sex mode?