Day 87

Submitted by needhops on
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Another wetdream...second this week. This isn't the first time that has happend,yet I know it's not normal, therefore I'm just gonna take it a sign of rebooting. Am going out tonight but have been by myself all day. So far I feel fine...does not seem to have effected me much. Still in a flatline. Desire to be with a woman but not a lot of desire to pursue them if that makes sense. Probably want to be with girls for the emotional benefits.

Increased my meditation frequency to 2-3 times a day 10 mins each. I find that I really underestimated mediatation. It really let's me clear my mind and allows me to live more in the moment. This along with excersising helps a lot. Not to mention they boost dopamine receptors. I've also been working diligently at reworking my thought process with girls. Trying to think WAY less and just react more. I feel this will do a lot of good to push my limbic system in the right direction. I'm really just trying to keep sex out of my head as much as possible. It's kind of amazing that all I want is the ability to be myself around girls and stop looking for sex. Sounds simple but at the same time so mind boggling. Haven't been able to do this for years because of pmo.

I had a post a few days ago in which I said a book I was reading was impeding my progress...rubbish, it was mostly the wetdream+minor relapse. It had my voice sounding incredibly weak.

Approaching day 90 unfortunately it's 90* because of my minor relapse last week. I'll take it as a lesson to control my alcohol consumption.

Comments

Good stuff. Alot like you,

Good stuff. Alot like you, orgasm prevents me from being myself in social situations, and the more i think about it, be who I really am. Connecting these issues with orgasm frequency has been a god send. I find after about two weeks of no PMO and meditation plus exercise I get to be able to react well then being over premeditative and breaking down mentally if reality doesnt go according to plan. Keep the good posts coming.

Thanks for the posts...

Thanks for the posts...

Shining-yea u seem to know what I'm talking about. Consistent persistent meditation is a new thing to me and it seems to be working well. I haven't been orgasm free for 2ish weeks;however, It wasn't that bad for me today in terms of anxiety going out, but...(see goel). Btw I hope you bein to level out soon. God speed!

Goel- yea definitely flatlininng...I've said this before, I'm definitely a long recovery case. I'm saying that based on my progress so far and how long it too to feel anything. There have been godly flashes of being my old charasmatic self here and there but nothing consistent at all. Recently I've been able to eliminate fantasy almost completely, and ithink this has been a result of a flatline. Idk I haven't checked my old blogs and don't exactly think I had a flatline like this before. I may have had a small one, but not one where fantasies completely vanished like now. I seemed to have a decent streak in between but this is a definite flatline. Hope it ends soon. If ur one I wish you the best.