Neo's blog

Day 12...new PB

Submitted by Neo on

So I've beaten my old record of 11 days and here I am at 12 days, whoop whoop!

I have been having some sleeping issues these past few days, I never used to wake up in the night but I have been waking every few hours or so the past few nights, then waking up really early. Maybe this 'life force' is reducing my sleep requirements? I'm feeling more awake on less sleep. I used to be one of those "9 hours a day or I'm dead" kind of people, now I'm feeling great on 6!

Not much else to report. I've got a social weekend lined up which should be fun.

back at day 10

Submitted by Neo on

So here I am at day 10 again and feeling pretty damn good to be honest. I gave up coffee again on the first day and feel it has made a big difference to my emotional state, I feel much more in control and calm now, however my libido seems to have vanished which doesn't suprise me too much as it comes in cycles anyway I find.

Things have been plain sailing without having to deal with constant horniness, so not much in the way of cravings to deal with. Yesterday I had a sudden surge of energy in the afternoon.

issues

Submitted by Neo on

Hi all, right now I am dealing with extreme stress and financial worry, not to mention depression and suicidal thoughts. I don't know if I can abstain from PMO whilst I am going through this, but I haven't given up. I relapsed again on Wednesday.

I'll look forward to posting when I'm back on track.

Neo

day 3, wet dreams

Submitted by Neo on

Right now I'm at day 3 on my current attempt, last night and the night before I had a wet dream! I don't think I've ever had a back to back wet dream before, in fact as I get older I seem to get more and more wet dreams lol! Maybe that's due to always bashing one out when younger and not giving my body the chance to release naturally? Hmm not sure. I wish they would stop as there is definately a chaser effect the next day and I'm feeling pretty run down and tired at the moment. Anyway, I have not succumbed to PMO.

im ashamed to say

Submitted by Neo on

relapsed again.

A while back I talked about being able to orgasm without ejeculating. Well I can still do this, problem is it very addictive and before long I am using porn and then ejeculate. Today I was able to 'dry' orgasm just by thinking after 5 minutes.....yea crazy and weird but thats what I can do. Problem is, I didn't stop there, I carried on and turned it into a PMO binge.

Now I really can tell ive been spilling my stuff because I feel like I'm running on empty, brain fog, tired, weak, dizzy, anxiety etc.....not good!

and again

Submitted by Neo on

...This has turned into a full on binge that is proving very hard to stop! I relapsed again today :(

So... time to step up this operation. I have set K9 to a password I will never remember, something similar to "hsfkdlkskdhflksldd".....I now have it written on a small slip of paper, I'm trying to figure out where to store this password so I won't want to go and get it.

For me, this is all about the porn. I can handle being horny and won't act on it unless I see porn...

hmm maybe I should just throw the slip of paper in the bin?

relapse after relapse

Submitted by Neo on

I made it 9 days again, then the past week have relapsed like crazy, not good at all but have to put it behind me. The festivities with food and drink over Christmas may have played a hand and I let myself go, I'm not making excuses though.

I PMOd earlier today so starting the count again.

2012 is just a few days away so I want to start things on the right track.

day 7

Submitted by Neo on

I had a very vivid porn dream last night, very strange lol. I won't go into all the details but it starred a favorite actress and involved me watching rather than participating, I guess my brain is still hung up on porn which is to be expected as I'm not very far into the reboot. It almost was a wet dream but I woke up and prevented that from happening.

Feeling a bit rough at the moment, I think my body might be fighting off an infection of some kind.

Anyway, back to day 7 so happy about that. I am determined to see the New Year in without a relapse.

day 5 round 3

Submitted by Neo on

Hi all, just a little update here with some thoughts.

I'm at day 5 again, nothing to report really. Not feeling any benefits now, in fact I'm feeling like I used to in my regular PMO days....just dull and urrgh, but I know it will pass soon enough as long as I stay strong and don't relapse.

My target is to see the New Year in without PMOing which will bring me to 19 days on January the 1st, I will be very happy when I've done that.

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