Hey guys! I am a completely new person to your community. I am not familiar with karezza and it does not sound interesting. Now, you may wonder why then am I here. It is not that I would not like the idea of not reaching an orgasm while having sex, but rather that I never had sex and I think that when I do, I need to try many things out, karezza not being first on the list, however.
Anyways. I am here, because I am a masturbation addict. I had an orgasm once and since then I was addicted to masturbation. My life sucked before and after the addiction, but I think that it sucked before only due to teenage hormones (I was 13 or 14 by the time). After that I got to a much better school and later on to a very good university. Yet, I found myself depressed and anti-social for most of the time. I was making friends with similar people. As a member of pickup artists' community I do not solely believe that masturbation is the only problem I am so unsuccessful in relationship... But rather there are plenty of other, complex issues I am having and they are hard to fix. But more on that later.
Some thoughts about myself:
-I am 20, male, short (in my country I am shorter than an average female! 172 cm) and girls usually don't find me attractive, but when they do, I have little self-confidence to do anything about it (it's not that I would FEEL the fear of rejection, but rather that my mind goes blank, I am uncreative and I have no ideas what should or could I do).
-I only used pornography for very short time when I was a teenage.
-I masturbated so much (>3 times a day, 365 days a year), that I got exzema on my scrotum. And I believe that masturbation is core cause for it, so I am full of motivation to stop doing it entirely.
-I never had a girlfriend, nor had sex, so I really need to stop wasting my life as much as possible.
-I find it hard to focus. I am not able to read a single A4 sheet of text continuously.
-I haven't read a book for a few years... because they are too demanding for attention. Even thought I would love to read some of them!
-I have a big belly and it makes me feel uncomfortable when around people. I also do not feel comfortable when thinking about having sex and how that belly would affect my attractiveness to a girl. I am almost certain that the belly was caused by stress (aka cortisol hormone) and that was largely affected by my masturbation habits.
-After withdrawal I had super good mood swings. They are great and I think I could live with them, but I am depressed for more time than in a good mood, so... There's no way in hell I will continue masturbating.
Before starting this post I had a thought for it, so here it goes... For how long will I stay so depressed? I stopped masturbating 23 days ago. I no longer have any cravings, but I am currently in highly stressful situations and I heard that when one is stressed, you do not have cravings... But I feel depressed and it's worse than having cravings to deal with... Can anyone answer this question for me? How long should I wait before looking for serious medical help about my depression?
P. S. Any comments are highly welcome, I'd love to talk and listen to your similar experiences/thoughts!