The beginning of day 37

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Went on a hike with my dad today. Jeez I underestimated that old man. He left me in the freaking dust. On the reuniting front I've kind of felt less horny lately but I started exercising as well. I've been making it a point to eat a bit healthier too. No more soda, no more fast food. I need to start taking better care of my body. Don't worry my fellow reuniters I'm not going to starve myself or anything crazy like that. I'm just trying to make a lifestyle change here. Because in my life the lack of confidence hasn't just stemmed from the porn induced ed. I could also stand to lose a couple of pounds.

And as I think I've said before if I'm making the change to cut out pornography. I may as well change everything that I want to change about myself. I looked at my bank statement from last month. Jeez I wasted so much money on fast food. It's a very sneaky bank drainer. Not to mention I had my trip out to the east coast that month so it was very easy to just pig out sometimes.

A couple of strange things happened too. My ex girlfriend signed onto yahoo messenger. But you know what I did? I freaking went outside and got on my skateboard and went around the block a couple of times listening to music. No sulking, no waiting for a word from her. And I felt mighty good about that.

Because my motivation has gone in a different direction. It's to make myself one bad ass mofo. So I'm taking up a few more hobbies. Like hiking with my dad. I also learned how to cook some stuff with my mom. I figure learning to cook for myself will be a useful tool in the fight against fatty foods. I've also got a group of people who want to start a band.

Because let me tell you something that made pmo'ing so easy to do back then reuniters. The freaking boredom. If I'm not bored I won't think about it. And to be honest I kind of already don't. But a relapse is always a possibility so I may as well keep on fighting as if it is hard. (Even though it hasn't been lately)

I'm motivated. I feel good.

The battle continues.


Sounds like you're doing a

Sounds like you're doing a lot of good work there!

Not surprisingly, the exercise+food change is what did the trick for me too. Before that my record was 35 days, but usually much shorter strides before I would relapse. But once I changed up my lifestyle a lot I haven't relapsed. It's day 86 and it's easy now. Masturbation is simply not a part of my daily routine anymore. It's not a habit anymore, and the cravings are gone.

I can also tell you why I think the diet + exercise is essential.

There are two bad things about unhealthy foods. Things that have similar workings as porn actually:

First of all, junkfood is not consumed in moderation. When you eat junkfood, it's often a lot. You eat till you're all full. This actually overtriggers your reward system it seems. I think you can relate to this: you eat a part of a hamburger, you drink some softdrink, feels good so you repeat. Or the bag of chips on the couch, combined with softdrinks. It's not that you're even aware of this: the body takes care of this by itself, meanwhile you're watching tv and you don't even taste much of what's going into your body, right?

This is the same sort of binging mechanism as with masturbation: going till you've had enough and going again when you want more. There's not even that much pleasure from the actual masturbation, it's the satiation effect that causes the addiction.

Second, it's the contents of junkfood. Besides the saturated bad fats, there's a lot of sugar. Sugar causes your bloodsugar levels to spike. This means a sudden spike of energy that is quickly dispatched with by the body as it releases extra insulin to lower the bloodsugar levels. And what happens next? You feel your energy levels crashing and a craving for more sugar-rich foods appears. You literally go from bloodsugar spike to bloodsugar spike. A true rollercoaster.

Again, this is similar to masturbation as frequent orgasms are similar to the sugar-spikes. And with us that system seems a bit out of control. So the 'crash' is really nasty up to levels of deep depression. The 'remedy' is another orgasm that makes you feel good again.

As you can see, the pattern of cravings in order to compensate for negative bodily sensations keeps on going and only leads to misery. If you've adopted habits with something as core and essential as eating, of course the same mechanism will easily appear in other aspects as well, such as the way that you approach sexuality. and masturbation.

Changing your food habits will flatten out your energy levels. You'll feel a stable amount of energy all the time, with no sudden spikes or drops. Same with exercise, it keeps the hormonal levels in check so the body doesn't need the porn. And ultimately your body lets go of the attachment to porn/masturbation.

You really should check out the book: "Burn the fat, Feed the Muscle" by Tom Venuto. Though it's not sold anymore I guess you can do some searching. It covers the eating and exercise in all detail. I'm losing 1 pound of bodyfat per week by recording my daily calorie intake, pretty nice uh, besides completing my reboot as well :)

Keep on going!