Day 80 no porn.........broke down and MO'd after 26 days.

Submitted by Normal256 on
Printer-friendly version

OK so I broke down and MO'd earlier today. I couldn't take it anymore. I had a horrible day today. Also, the sexual tension that had been building up for the last 26 days were just too much for me.

I know I shouldn't use masturbation (and certainly not porn) as a way of stress release. But nothing else I know would've made me feel so good. I suppose if there's any good news in this, it's that a) I didn't use porn, and b) I didn't use fantasy or mental images of anyone or anything either. Just the sensation alone was enough to send me over the edge. Not surprisingly, I also notice it's extremely difficult to keep from reaching orgasm - so I guess instead of having to worry about not getting it up, I have to worry about trying to keep from coming too soon. I imagine had I been in the room with an actual girl, I would've had an orgasm in about 30 seconds.

Anyway, I don't know how I feel about this. On the one hand, I am very disappointed I couldn't break my previous record of 29 days, especially being so close to it. On the other hand, I'm not sure if it matters. I don't know how much progress I've made........I figure the only way I'll know is to be with an actual girl. Until then, I kind of don't care. It's just been a terrible day and I'd like to get it over with ASAP.

Comments

Sounds good to me man

I wouldn't consider this a relapse - "releasing" is a natural part of us. You didn't go all out and do it. You didn't watch porn, no fantasy, etc. This all sounds great man - you're doing fine! Records? Fuck 'em. This isn't about personal failure. Don't you see? You're getting out! You're making it. Just becareful about increased MO - as long as it's in moderation you'll be fine.

Don't beat yourself up

Don't beat yourself up masterbating towards the end of my reboot was one of the best things I've done. If you Don't keep track of records and days towards the end of your reboot you wont put as much pressure on yourself to start feeling results. It will just happen naturally. Just chill

Thanks everyone. I actually

Thanks everyone. I actually MO'd twice yesterday, but today I woke up with absolutely no desire to do so. Still don't have any desire now. I think once you sort of disaggregate fantasy from masturbation, you realize that you actually don't have nearly as much desire to masturbate as you thought you did. Or at least that's been my experience. Once I tell myself, if I masturbate, there will be NO fantasy involved (and certainly not porn), then a lot of the desire goes away. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

It's a good thing

A healthy libido in an adult male isn't like teen libido...or like porn star (drug-induced) libido. It's more "I love sex, but I don't feel horny all the time when it's not happening."

In other words, you're not supposed to be walking around all day with a boner.kiss

I can't help but wonder if

I can't help but wonder if being hooked on porn actually *induces* libido..........i.e. if we actually manufacture sexual desire that isn't naturally occuring. I can remember a lot of times when I masturbated to porn not because I felt horny, but just out of habit. And by looking at the porn long enough, I became aroused. Being aroused and eventaully masturbating to orgasm just felt like the right thing to do, probably out of habit though.