Yeah Back to square one!..!

Submitted by nura on
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I watched PORN obeying the wishes of my impulsive mind. The play is getting interesting.I am not gonna worry about relapse to old behavior but rather will redefine my approach. The game is getting interesting.

Points on Reflection:
1. With many happenings around me Currently i am spending more and more time all alone and I study as this is my only job to do right now. I am online 24/7- now i even sleep with my laptop staying online. The contents that i come across read have great influence in subtle ways. Its not the reflection of single thought, its the cascading effect of many different triggers that i existed since i started being alone.
2. For the safer side i didnt set a target for me when i decided no porn.based on rational thinking and the so called self understanding and improvisation decided thinking its for the best.
3. Being an active guy who wants to be active, now sitting in one room, trying to study is a diffferent thing compared to what all i did till date,
what once was like an activity of pleasure slowly crept into the mind
4. Not sure any of the above is the only cause.

Change approach:
1. I am a guy who needs challenge and i should see it more clear.180 days it is what ever it takes. I am gonna count it down.Subjective analysis will be done consciously once the set date is reached.Each day goes with a documentation towards the goal.(Dear diary few space is now reserved.)
2.I have many things to do.organizing is important for any goal.I have many goals now my activities should be reorganized, scheduled and structured.
3.See things as just what they are.

May this blessed soul be blessed with intended fruit based on adequate action taken.
Let the long self note end and the self discovery begin.
one day at a time. 180 to go....Yeahhhhhhhhhh