Day 3b

Submitted by Pertonis on
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It feels, peculiarly comfortable. It's not a good nor bad feeling, it's... more of a state of not knowing what to do. I know what I don't want; PMO. But it gets harder when I ask myself 'what do I want to do right now? Read a book? meh. Watch something? mmeeh.' It's more of an indifference. But while I'm that mode I'm at least not partaking in the activities that I have come to loathe. It is funny, when I think of it, that it's such a waste. Waste of time, you most likely thought in your head, but that's not what I meant. I meant the all encompassing Waste. It's literally rubbish and it is a waste of everything: time, life, energy, happiness, concentration etc. Do you see?

Well, you don't really have to see or understand. I just wanted to expound myself in here, instead of going back to habitual patterns.

If anyone reads this: have/do you experience(d) hopelessness? And if so, what to you think of it and how has it affected your thinking?