Well, I've blown it again last night. When I went to bed, my cravings became kind of overwhelming and I did it again. Of course I could have resisted, but I didn't want to. Of course I don't like the fact that I have to start at square one again now, but that's the way it is! Just now, I felt like I would like to get some relief again, but I tried energy circulation instead - and I will keep trying. The thing is that my brain is wired to get this kind of reward, and it's so hard to break this cycle! But yesterday, it marked 3 months that I fell back into the habit (on and off) after about 1 1/2 years without FMO (not necessarily without fantiasies though); so I think it's time now to break this vicious cylce again.
There is a quote that I read this morning in "Steps to Christ". I know most people here are not necessarily into the bible and Christianity, but I think this is the essence of what God wants for all of us:
"And do not forget the words of Christ, “The Father Himself loveth you.” John 16:27. He desires to restore you to Himself, to see His own purity and holiness reflected in you. And if you will but yield yourself to Him, He that hath begun a good work in you will carry it forward to the day of Jesus Christ." (Steps to Christ, p. 63)