First post. Porn related ED and possible relapse.. day 45?

Submitted by psu22 on
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Hey everyone. Don't want to dull you all with my story so I will summarize. Began masterbating and watching porn at a young age (12,13). I watched ALOT of porn through my early and mid teen years, not everyday but close to it and often for hours at a time. I also masterbated prone on occasion, which I have read makes my situation even worse. I am almost 20 now. Anywho, this past summer I had sex for the first time with this girl. Shes not a real looker, but I liked her. We had sex a few times and I never had an orgasm. I often had trouble even penetrating her I would be too limp. I think it was a combination of me being nervous/not attracted to her enough/having porn ED. This is when I started thinking I may have a problem.

So I stopped watching and masterbating to porn in september of this year. I still jacked off maybe every three weeks or so though, and sometime to images on the internet but usually when I did this I would stop before orgasm (which I have since read is maybe even worse).

I realized this behavior was not inducive to recovery so stopped. For the last month I havent masterbated or had an orgasm. Actually its been about a month and a half. But tonight I looked at porn images on google images for like 2 minutes then stopped. Then began fantisizing about a woman I know and sort of played with myself, but stopped in time. I dont feel great but I am glad I stopped and learned from this before it escalated into something worse.

I have decided today that real interaction with real women cant hurt me so I am full heartedly pursuing hooking up with girls now instead of trying to reboot through lack of orgasm. I think more sexual experience is what I really need.

A few interesting things I've noticed.. Number one, everytime I fantasize, my initial reaction is of my viewing a sexual act (often myself and a woman) from a third person point of view. I have to mentally force myself to reject this and imagine it being first person. Also, when I engage in any kind of porn ED related behavior (fantasy, masterbating, ect) I get a terrible headache (I have one right now). Its crazy my body is really going through withdrawal from this stuff. Also, after I masterbate but dont orgasm or just play with my self like i did tonight, my libido feels incredibly diminished and I am pretty lifeless down there. Which sucks I need to just completely stop.

Overall, I am proud of the progress I have made. My libido is going crazy pretty much 24/7 now. I get morning wood almost everyday. I almost had a wet dream the other night. When I do have erections they are harder than Ive ever remembered them being.These are definitely encouraging signs.I will definitely keep posting on here. Please give me any feedback. I think the next step I need to take is really just to stop myself from fantasizing at all. Its going to be tough but I am sure at this point that is necessary. I was able to stop watching porn I think I can do this too.

Comments

One thing about fantasy is

One thing about fantasy is that it really stunts your progress. In fact, it can be as bad as watching porn in some instances. The one thing piece of advice that I always give people is to completely avoid fantasy. Nothing. Even changing it to first person will set you back.

Everything you report

is depressingly common on forums where guys are discussing this.

But there's good news too. Here's one guy's rebooting account from today that you might find inspiring: http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/age-25-ed-pe-girlfriend-succesful-sex-76-...

This may sound extreme, but you might try cold showers. There's some interesting information about them here: Cold Showers

Are you exercising? Lots of other tips here: Rebooting Advice & Observations