60 days of no orgasm- wet dream thwarted mood

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Submitted by Rockhardington on
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Yes, I am hitting the 60 day mark with no orgasm and porn is less of a temptation. I do have urges to act on my bottom lines, but I remember how much I enjoy being more grounded and together. Plus there is a lot to lose from acting out. It's not just the act, but there is the whirlwind that surrounds it. It is not something that I can do without it affecting my life in big ways. This thought is what has been keeping me abstinent lately.

But this week was the start of classes. Monday was great because I was feeling clear and on point. I guess Monday night was a good night for a nocturnal emission because I had one. All that clarity was replaced by the old withdrawal symptoms and crises management again. It was like I was back to day one in some of my mood. I still had a strong center, but it was my old withdrawal mind that I am so used to. The relaxed confidence I had the day before magically evaporated. To make it worse, I had a lot of stressful and humiliating events that happened at once too with work and school. What little buffer I had before was gone, it turned into the chaos management anxious mind again. Not completely, but similar to how I would feel in the 2nd or 3rd week, but without all the horniness. It felt like I had slipped but didn't get the big reward. I felt cheated.

But it's fine. I know the procedure. You unplug the fan, but the blades keep spinning. I am functioning a little slow, but certainly better than when I am in full addict mode.

I am going to be very busy and stressed this semester, but it will keep me sober because I am not going to respond to stress like I have in the past. I have also been keeping my program pretty simple. My main thing is to stay sober from my bottom lines and I know the rest will follow in time. I've also been avoiding processed sugar too. I've just made the habit of completely substituting fruit for sugar.

Comments

Keep on truckin'

At least you are better able to make a sound cost-benefit analysis these days.

Weird how emissions can sometimes kick in a bit of a cycle, eh? So much to learn about human sexuality....

Have  a great term.