90 days.some thoughts

Submitted by rebalancinguser on
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yay , 90 days , some thoughts crossed my mind.
i remember my first time when i tried the rebooting process , i did it for 2 weeks and while those 2 weeks ive had 3 wet dreams . those wd got me rlly pissed , i was asking myself : why am i trying to stop M if im having O anyway?!so i relapsed in the same day when the third wet dream came, i felt ashamed like i was M-ing, thinking that wet dreams will be never gone. i tried rebooting a couple of times after this , hoping that the wet dreams wont appear this time, but everytime after 3,4 days the wet dream was there , and thats where my rebooting process ended.
i didnt realise at that time that wet dreams are totally related to me seeing P everyday.
this time of my rebooting process i've had like 5 wet dreams in my first month and i dont know how but i managed to get over them , i havent relapsed , neither watched porn and in my last 2 months there were 2 wet dreams (the last one was 3 or 4 weeks ago). i feel great , my mind doesnt dream or imagine P anymore but still , i cant say that im cured , i will never be able to say that , even in 10 years from now , if something wont be good at a point, i know i will be vulnerable to fall back in my addiction (im rlly afraid of this), i also know that if i relapse one time i will do it again , and again, and i wont be able to stop .
i wont relapse for at least 3 more months , thats my goal now , but even after three months the craving are there , its hard sometimes but i know that im more balanced now , i dont feel that urge so often but unfortunately other side effects are still there , its a long process i know , hope ill do better in time.cya

Comments

That's awesome man. Good for

That's awesome man. Good for you. It sounds like you have a realistic expectation of things too. I felt the same way about relapse when I quit smoking. "Will I ever have a moment of weakness?" sort of feeling. But I can tell you that 1. I rarely ever think about smoking, and it isn't really tempting to me any more at all, and 2. I'm still very uneasy about the thought of even having one puff. And it's been almost ten years! I'm know that smoking was a chemical addiction as much as a physical addiction, but I'm hoping that the PMO addiction will be similar in that regard. I think the longer we go without it, the less it will play a role in our everyday lives. Keep updating man. Really glad for ya. Great work. Very inspiring.