Sirens's blog

confused about...sex with a partner once over addiction

Submitted by Sirens on

i know that porn should be avoided permanently but im wondering for those that have rebalanced say 5 months without p/m/o completely how was it to return to orgasm with a partner? how does orgasm with a partner effect people no longer in porn addiction? should orgasm be avoided even with a partner?

does it lead to escalation? do you notice withdrawal symptoms? increased isolation? return you right back to your addiction? how often do you do it? personal experiences and what you learned would be helpful.

i cant do this

Submitted by Sirens on

i try and try again only to deal with continual rejection. u dont know how bad this is effecting me how i need to be loved and accepted by someone and i can never get that. i feel past the point of no return, and suicidal. im too messed up. im not worth anything to anyone. this has got to be effecting me for the worse. no friends no life. i cannot manage my mood swings on my own anymore alone. whenever someone gives me attention i see myself cheer up but the rejection that comes from that initial person leaving me is not worth it. ive tried online dating craigslist and church groups.

happiness?

Submitted by Sirens on

How does someone be happy and stable without close friends relationships or much of a social life without pmo? My moods are up and down and people have noticed. To the extent that they think something is wrong with me. High highs and low lows within a few hours of each other. Its been awhile since Ive posted but I'm still struggling with the same issues that kept me from connecting with people. oh and online dating isnt going so well.

day 12 so needy

Submitted by Sirens on

so im having a hard time communicating with people like i feel the difference after this relapse. i get mad over stupid stuff or defensive easily. im always looking for something to argue, get offended or insulted over and take it personally. i just dont feel right and i keep trying to reach out to people in my life to talk to or get them on the phone b/c i really need that right now to distract me. ive learned to lean on social support b/c it helps. right now all that seems to be doing is ruining my relationships making things more complicated.

how long after binge before u should force yourself to be social again?

Submitted by Sirens on

how soon after a relapse and binge should someone wait before getting back into the world u know being social and hanging out with friends? typically i would wait a week or more because i feel horrible withdrawals. im definitely feeling bad withdrawals now: headaches, fatigue, cold symptoms.... i dont like to give off bad energy to others around me.

not good

Submitted by Sirens on

i keep trying to put myself out there. i managed to meet 3 people on craigslist and it was nice to get out. everyone i meet online/ on dating sites unfriends me on facebook soon after chatting. during withdrawal i know i can be too clingy/ weird/ depressed/needy maybe that why everyone stops talking to me/unfriends me.

remind me why i should continue

Submitted by Sirens on

im feeling a bit weak and all this abstaining doesn't make sense. why keep something good (p/m/o) out of my life permanently?

why is it important to continue? im going on 21 day. i still have the same problems attracting people, im still a loner without friends and depressed.

i have seen benefits though moments of clarity momeents of less depression, i sleep well, have more energy, a bit more confidence but

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