Hi guys !
First,I'll introduce myself because i never did it!
I'm a 22 years old student, addict to porn since i have access to internet in a private room (16 yo maybe). I have discovered masturbation really early (7 or 8 yo) and didn't know what it was. I remember scratching my pant in class when i was stressed. I didn't even know it was something sexual. It's a pity that noone explained me what it was , because they were a lot of shame behind that. Two years later, i stopped doing it in public , but continue when i was alone. I have always link masturbation and stress relief. It's only around 12yo that i discovered that it was masturbation , and that it was "normal".
Then i discovered porn around 14 year old. I was subscribed to a porn newsletter, i don't even know how, probably because of a forum i was subscribed on). They sent me a free porn video every week. I started to watch porn weekly, and then in progressively escalated, especially after i had my own computer.
Today, i'm 22. After some attempts of reboot (8, 12, 5 and 25 days), i realized how porn has important consequences on my daily life. I have no ED , but i have delayed ejaculation. But the worst thing for me, it's that i don't spontaneously want to meet girls when a masturbate to porn. My libido is not focused on real life.
I went to the mountain for skiing with my university. I was on day 17 to 25 of my last reboot. And i felt really great. I met a lot of girls everywhere and i spook spontaneously to them. I kissed and Irish girl in a pub, a some girls from my university where really interested by me. I did things i would never be able to do before. I entered in most rooms of the hostel with a few friends and my ukulele and made sing everyone ( while some mates stole their toilet paper :P). I was really funny and i felt great. I was flatlining the whole 25 days.
Then i we back to home, i spent my last day of holiday on my computer, and.... i relapsed!
Soooo stupid! But the good thing is that a light touch felt really really good and i have never been as hard. They were definitely an improvement. The next day i still felt great, and my libido was back. I still had success with girls. Maybe because i didn't ejaculate.
Then i surrendered to the chaser effect the next day, once, and twice..
I hope i didn't sent me back to far with this relapse
Now i want to get back on the right track! Porn is a bad thing for me, and life is too short to waste time with it. So tomorrow will be day one!
I'll practice meditation every morning, do some exercises and take care of myself.
As usual, No PMO, but real girls are allowed !