Is polyamory integrous? Maybe with karezza, yes. But with ordinary sex it seems.. problematic.
Today the constant uncomfortability was replaced by a pleasant horniness while at gym. That horniness goes with overall physiological arousal seems like a good indicator of normalizing hormones.
Again today the feeling of assurance and self-awareness. Feeling good in my relations.
I met her again today after three days apart. She looked relaxed and confident. What a delight. Less touch, more friendliness.
She brought up polyamory and I was a bit defensive. I'm aware of the mating program and the Coolidge effect: I thought polyamory a naive ideal.
But I'm aware that if we were free we might also be free to be honest about our attractions. I suspect I would be uncomfortable with a primary bond being vulnerable to new partners.