Yesterday at about 6 pm Eastern time I had complete sexual intercourse for the first time in my life, to the point of orgasm inside my girlfriend. I am almost 37 and have been working on rebooting for almost a year since I discovered this site. It is truly amazing how much rebooting has helped me sexually. This morning I had a strong erection when I got out of bed, and it is wonderful to feel truly manly for the first time in my life! Thank you Marnia and Gary for your work with this site; this has been one of the most healing experiences of my life!
I've moved in with a woman I met on Craigslist who responded to an ad I placed seeking a karezza partner. We've been together for over three months. The last two days I've ejaculated while watching porn, and I've returned to this site to tell on myself, as well as to seek counsel on how to address my (karezza) relationship with my partner. I recall Marnia suggesting that one should not expect perfection (the ideal mate) in a karezza partner. I love my partner, but I am not *in love* with her, if that makes sense. I feel deeply for her emotionally.
So I've started having intercourse with my gf after about two months of my present reboot- we've done 4 or 5 positions, softer entry and harder entry; and stayed joined for 10, 15, 20 minutes, hard to say exactly how long, with little movement; so I'd say this is the closest I've gotten to karezza yet.
I have a feeling my erections are going to keep getting better as I get more and more comfortable being with her, better wired to real love making.
So yesterday I edged to porn for the first time in over two weeks. It's now been two months since I began my full reboot. Before that I'd been edging to porn for over a month, after going over 100 days with no PMO; so it's progress overall but I'm in a place of temptation all of a sudden so I'm coming back to the community for support. I have a feeling it's going to take me another month or so to get to a place of decent potency with my gf.
So I relapsed fully with PMO today for the first time in six months. I ejaculated with *no contact* whatsoever to my penis; it was erect and the dopamine or whatever caused it to simply shoot off from the stimulation of the porn scene I watched. The whole process probably took five minutes. A no-contact orgasm is a first for me.
So I've gone 6 and a half weeks with no PMO, and I now have a gf I've been sleeping with nearly every night. My erections are not yet strong enough to be able to have intercourse; they come and go. I've now gone over 6 months without masturbating, but I relapsed to edging to porn for about 40 days this autumn which really set me back. It's the elephant in the living room (I feel) with my gf that I don't get many full erections but I try to be loving and adoring in other ways rather than getting down on my lack of erections.
I have not masturbated in over 5 months. I have had two orgasms in that time, one from oral sex around day 90 of my reboot, and one from a wet dream around day 100. After I broke up with the girl I was seeing I edged to porn over a period of 39 days in Sept and Oct. I have been totally abstinent from porn for three weeks today. I spent about 24 hours with a woman on Tue/Wed, and though we had a lot of intimacy I only really got two erections; the first one was weak, the second was quite strong, in the 90 percentile I would say. But I was not erect long enough to have sex with her.
There's been some mention on this site recently of complementary currencies/alternative currencies as well as Occupy Wall Street; yes, money is related to sex and love, no doubt about it. Bernard Lietaer contends that 95% of relationship squabbles are over money; he also points out that the money system around the world is "yang" oriented, and divisive, rather than "yin" focussed and inclusive.
I've gotten to 136 days of not masturbating but I've been looking at porn today more than any other time during my whole reboot. For safety measures I've been taking my clothes off so not even my boxer shorts press against my penis- because if they did I would have orgasmed long ago, given that I've been looking at porn for hours. Clearly I need a new lease on my rebooting process.