Im back...and ready to do this! Day 2

Submitted by tooyoungforthis on
Printer-friendly version

So it's been awhile since I posted...I'm mostly a lurker, not posting a lot but I feel like posting will help reinforce this no PMO idea in my head.

My last attempt at a reboot, I reached day 70. MO'd on day 70, and since then have only gone 1-2 weeks at a time between MO/PMO. I have slipped back into porn just slightly. I am especially disappointed because I feel like I was finally starting to see some positive signs. Around day 65ish I got a nice solid boner just from seeing a girl at work. But nothing for the next few days (highpoint/flatline?) This discouraged me which I think led me to give in a few days later as a "test". Its especially hard to come back from a relapse when you feel like those few months of hard work were just ruined.

I met a woman during this time, and we were hanging out for a few weeks. We had sex a few times, but it was rocky...I was hard enough but not by very much. After hanging out for a few weeks I started feeling annoyed by her and could not get around the thought that I do/did NOT want a relationship at all....not just with her but with any woman. I tend to feel I want my free time, and anytime I am with the woman is taking away from my free time. I like to do what I want when I want and not feel obligated to be around anybody. Perhaps this attitude will change with my reboot.

Supplementwise I have found the amazing power of omega 3s. As somewhat of a health nut I knew of them all along, as theyre usually the most reccomended general supplement aside from a multi/vitamin d. I had tried them a bit in the past with no changes to my health. But I had not tried them long enough or in a large enough dose. Last week I started taking a pharmaceutical grade fish oil (400mg EPA/200mg DHA), 2 pills 3x daily. My anxiety has plummeted, I feel much more relaxed, energetic, less brain fog, and wanting to go out and have fun instead of sit inside all night in a daze. Based on my diet and health habits in the past I would not at all be surprised if I had a large cellular imbalance of omega 3/6.

Anyway, so here I am, ready to go at it again. 90 days as a starting goal. No porn. No masturbation. No TESTING. No orgasm (unless with a woman and if I feel ready). No fantasy (the toughest part).

I will also give up drinking for this time period (something else I have slipped on in recent weeks). I will get to bed at a more decent time (shooting for 8hrs). I will spend more time meditating/reading/stretching/relaxing before bed, and shutting off electronics in the evening.

I want the benefits I read on so many people's blogs...time to get em!!


Thanks for sharing your experience

Just so you know...a relapse doesn't take you back to square one. Think of a dieter who sneaks a piece of birthday cake, but otherwise stays on her diet. She's still going to see progress.

At the same time, ejaculation isn't exactly like sneaking a piece of cake. It's likely there are neurochemical ripples after ejaculation that can linger. The ripples are often more pronounced in those rebooting, perhaps because their brain chemistry isn't fully stabilized. However, some guys always feel them to some degree after sex - and just have to learn not to act on them.

It's possible that these ripples are what altered your perception of your girlfriend after sex. How? The low feelings during the ripples are projected outward and your brain finds causes for them in the external world. If the ripples are creating a subtle sense of lack, then your brain will crave intense stimulation to "feel good," and (temporarily) your girlfriend won't be able to deliver that. You'll want a novel partner instead. But the problem isn't her. It's the post-O ripples.

This all sounds unbelievable...until you experience it for yourself. This is where choosing to make love without climax for a few weeks will show you whether this factor is at work in your life. That's probably not an experiment at the top of your list Wink ...but keep it in mind for the future.

Brains that have been overstimulated don't immediately value the rewards of bonding very highly, not because they need to be "free," but because they are still somewhat numbed to normal pleasure responses. So novelty seems to them like an essential. The result is that the person can end up on a merry-go-round of novel mates (or novel porn), which is ultimately even less satisfying (because it further numbs the pleasure response...even to the point of ED).

I'm glad you're giving this another try, but if an opportunity to try closer contact with a partner, without orgasm for a few weeks, shows up in your life, you  may want to jump on it...just to see what you see.

For more:

What If She Were Always in the Mood?

An Uncanny Love Potion