So it's been awhile since I posted...I'm mostly a lurker, not posting a lot but I feel like posting will help reinforce this no PMO idea in my head.
My last attempt at a reboot, I reached day 70. MO'd on day 70, and since then have only gone 1-2 weeks at a time between MO/PMO. I have slipped back into porn just slightly. I am especially disappointed because I feel like I was finally starting to see some positive signs. Around day 65ish I got a nice solid boner just from seeing a girl at work. But nothing for the next few days (highpoint/flatline?) This discouraged me which I think led me to give in a few days later as a "test". Its especially hard to come back from a relapse when you feel like those few months of hard work were just ruined.
I met a woman during this time, and we were hanging out for a few weeks. We had sex a few times, but it was rocky...I was hard enough but not by very much. After hanging out for a few weeks I started feeling annoyed by her and could not get around the thought that I do/did NOT want a relationship at all....not just with her but with any woman. I tend to feel smothered...like I want my free time, and anytime I am with the woman is taking away from my free time. I like to do what I want when I want and not feel obligated to be around anybody. Perhaps this attitude will change with my reboot.
Supplementwise I have found the amazing power of omega 3s. As somewhat of a health nut I knew of them all along, as theyre usually the most reccomended general supplement aside from a multi/vitamin d. I had tried them a bit in the past with no changes to my health. But I had not tried them long enough or in a large enough dose. Last week I started taking a pharmaceutical grade fish oil (400mg EPA/200mg DHA), 2 pills 3x daily. My anxiety has plummeted, I feel much more relaxed, energetic, less brain fog, and wanting to go out and have fun instead of sit inside all night in a daze. Based on my diet and health habits in the past I would not at all be surprised if I had a large cellular imbalance of omega 3/6.
Anyway, so here I am, ready to go at it again. 90 days as a starting goal. No porn. No masturbation. No TESTING. No orgasm (unless with a woman and if I feel ready). No fantasy (the toughest part).
I will also give up drinking for this time period (something else I have slipped on in recent weeks). I will get to bed at a more decent time (shooting for 8hrs). I will spend more time meditating/reading/stretching/relaxing before bed, and shutting off electronics in the evening.
I want the benefits I read on so many people's blogs...time to get em!!