undying's blog

the olive tree

Submitted by undying on

I'm updating to say that things are going really well in our 18-year relationship. Patience and communication are paying off, after about five years of me being interested in karezza and him not being "there" yet.

My title refers to Penelope and Odysseus' bed, built on the stump of an olive tree, which symbolizes peace. How's that for peace between the sheets?!

Royals also subject to the laws of nature...

Submitted by undying on

I'm ashamed to say I clicked on this. But solely for the good of the community...
According to a news article....
Meghan Markle has been accused of changing Prince Harry's personality for the worse since their royal wedding in May 2018, according to royal insiders.Harry has allegedly been "quite grumpy and aloof from his own inner circle of staff."

Poem - Still by David Romtvedt

Submitted by undying on

This poem came up on the Writer's Almanac a couple of weeks ago, and I appreciated the feeling of it. It's not a scene that's hot-sexy; to me it recalls two people endeavoring to connect, and how the awkward, humbling process and daily "showing up" and liberal application of loving generosity can turn into a beautiful connection.

here's a taste:

article: Which relationships last? Masters vs. Disasters

Submitted by undying on

Following thousands of couples longitudinally, Gottman found that the more physiologically active the couples were in the lab, the quicker their relationships deteriorated over time.

... among couples who not only endure, but live happily together for years and years, the spirit of kindness and generosity guides them forward.
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372...

I miss surfing - cold showers instead?

Submitted by undying on

Well, I miss actual surfing in cold water, but Somewhere, Marnia linked to this article about cold showers as helpful for those who are breaking away from porn surfing. The core idea: overindulgence in pleasures might generate opposing, un-pleasurable sensations that become noticeable once the pleasure fades away. And vice versa.
http://gettingstronger.org/2010/05/opponent-process-theory/

It's really interesting stuff, but kind of a long article. Here's my reader's digest version:

impasse and new beginning

Submitted by undying on

I'm sorry to report that my sex-every-day experiment is not going to continue.

I'm reflecting how last month's mistakes (basically I went haywire at ovulation time and got things way too heated up) and their ugly aftermath, sprouted and blossomed into the beautiful things that have happened since. So, there's hope for this month's mistakes, as well...