5 months no PMO. Losing erections during sex

Submitted by Untapped on
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Quitting PMO was one of the best things to happen to me. It felt like my life did a 180; I felt happier, with direction. I met a great woman who I've been dating for almost four months now.

The one thing about her is she turns me on like I wouldn't believe. Any issues I had before with not even being able to get it up for a woman do not happen with her. I am excited very often when I am with her and she is always wet for me as well.

I have no troubles with my erection when receiving oral or during foreplay etc. But once it comes to penetration, I feel like I lose it very easily, most times, if not all. I'm able to achieve orgasm, but I often need a "jump" via stroking (bad for me, i know);

She seems pretty satisfied despite when I am only half erect, but I feel we would both enjoy things much more if I was fully erect for longer.

I think it may be some kind of relaxation issue? i.e. My erections feel effortlessly firm in the morning via morning erection; I'd love to have that sensation prior and during sex. Any advice? I have heard of certain techniques/exercises but have no Idea if I am doing them correctly.


Hard to say

Guys with porn-induced ED often find they have to give up orgasm too for a bit...but not necessarily sex(!) to completely reset their pleasure response.

How often are you orgasming?

Marnia wrote:

[quote=Marnia]Guys with porn-induced ED often find they have to give up orgasm too for a bit...but not necessarily sex(!) to completely reset their pleasure response.How often are you orgasming?[/quote]

I would say about once a week? I only lose my erection during penetration... which I find odd

my suggestion

is a period of no orgasm intercourse. Soft entry, hanging out inside her, if you get hard fine, if you don't that's fine. That's the definition of non-performance oriented sexual intercourse. And definitely if you can avoid orgasms for awhile, including masturbation orgasms, that might be very helpful.

The brain and the penis figure it out on their own in time. All you can do consciously is interfere with that. That's why no performance pressure is such a good idea. The reality is that guys have no control over their erections. You see if you have one, she sees if you have one, your penis is like a third party to both of you. That's the reality, really and truly. So you might as well accept that 100% and plan to have sex that will work for you with or without an immediate erection.

I used to have periodic ED issues but they are totally gone now and the reason is that I don't care all that much if I have one or don't. After a few months my erections became totally fine and months after that, better than fine. I think it can take months to become completely fine but the best way to start is to not have orgasms and plan on sex that doesn't depend upon erections.

For a lot of really young guys they can't imagine that. But hey, if you've got yourself a good woman, it will be just fine. It works itself out really well by itself, so long as you don't inject your conscious mind too much in obsessing about it and trying to make it happen.

Also, do NOT fantasize porn scenes to try to have a better erection, and don't have her masturbate your penis and don't you do that either to have an erection. You just want to be patient and let the brain's rewiring do its thing. It will be great that way and your penis will spontaneously come to life and stay hard when it is ready to.

Had another rough episode of

Had another rough episode of this last night. I have still experienced this every time I've had sex over the last four months. It usually doesn't bother my partner that much, and I usually regain my erection after I remove my penis from her vagina and give it a little break. Last night it just seemed worse emotionally because of the very late hour, and I also started to get a sore throat/cold.

It doesn't really bother my girlfriend that much, but it does get me upset (not in front of her of course) and I end up beating myself up afterwards etc. She can still orgasm despite my penis being only semi hard, which is fine with me.

I will try my best to skip any fantasy; I have not masturbated in ages so that isn't a problem. I will also look to avoid orgasm-motivated sex. I will definitely stop jerking myself in order to regain the erection.

The one situation I want to avoid is to stop having sex completely, as I think that would put a dent in my relationship; If I have to forgo orgasm myself but still continue to have sex with her and make her happy, I will try exactly that

Hope you're not getting a bug

You may need to make your health a top priority for a bit.

You may be surprised how much you like sex without the goal of orgasm. Sounds crazy, but it decreases performance pressure...and shifts your attention to the present rather than your goals, making the whole experience much more relaxed and enjoyable.

There are some free books on the site on the subject:


If you resonate with tantra you may like this book:


Ours is different, but also pretty interesting:


Tips from forum members here: