Step in the right direction

Submitted by Untapped on
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I went on my first date in over a year, and it I had a pleasant surprise or two.

Some background: I did a major reboot last fall, about 100 days up until January of this year. I got very sick earlier in the winter and fell prey to "self medicating" by PMO'ing. I probably PMO'd about a dozen times, each time separated by 2-3 weeks of abstinence. I've been PMO free for about 3-4 weeks up until this point.

I had been flirting playfully touching some girls on my sports team, and despite them being rather attractive, I did not get any erections. I've also tried "checking out" some attractive girls on the streets/malls etc. and despite it all, nothing below the belt.

I met a girl online and despite her not being my type visually, I did find her attractive enough to ask out on a coffee. Well something clicked and merely standing close to her, or smelling her neck/hair did the trick. It felt fantastic. After finding some common interests and having a great time, we went out on a real date.

She dressed in a sexy summer dress and we went out for dinner and a stroll. We spent a lot of time, holding hands, caressing, kissing and a bit of heavy petting. It felt like I had an erection the whole night. My guess was it was around 75% of full strength compared to erections I would get from P. The simple bonding behaviours of touching each other's bodies and holding hands definitely helped.

I ended the night without going for sex, as I wanted to monitor my progress some more; but things were definitely getting heated.

I had been concerned up until this point because I had not had any erections that were of the spontaneous nature (morning wood doesn't count) and no erections from interaction with women. I guess I had to get 'intimate' to really see the progress.

I justwanted to share this, I really enjoyed my evening and I felt this energy and magnetism the next day that I havent felt in a long time.

Comments

Thanks for sharing this

I'll think of a place for it on YBOP.

My thought is that without porn around, most guys would discover that, after their early teens, it's normal to pop a boner when truly inspired, which, for our ancestors, would have meant, being with the real deal, for the most part.

My fear it that porn use, with its potential for instant arousal, has given us all a very unrealistic picture of "healthy" sexuality. I constantly hear you guys assume that you should be just as physically aroused watching a woman walk down the street as you are watching your favorite fetish on the screen. Not sure that's realistic.

The highs from sex (between mates of pair-bonding species) probably evolved to come from a mixture of arousal AND warm feelings from touch, romance, etc. Remember, our brains are different from 97% of mammal species in that we have the physical brain machinery that lets us fall in love.

Falling in love may be a nuisance, but like it or not, that's how your brain evolved, and it may exude lots of "feel good" neurochemicals when you behave in alignment with it. See Committed Relationship: Like It Or Not, You’re Wired For It

The sad thing is that many of you have so numbed your pleasure response in search of those hard, explosive solo-sex orgasms that you can't (at first) register the pair-bonder highs - or see the joy in a less demanding, but equally delicious form of arousal. I'm glad you got a good taste of the latter. If you find you want to sustain the good feelings in a relationship, you may even want to play around with a way to make love that helps with that. (Not until you're ready though!) Another Way to Make Love

I ended up MO'ing a few days

I ended up MO'ing a few days afterward, based on some memory of time spent with this girl.

I felt quite relaxed afterward, and didn't have feelings of remorse etc. I didn't really feel any chaser effects either. Perhaps a bit of tiredness later in the day, but that was more likely due to a lot of commuting and a long day of work

i agree with marnia.

Everything she said is true from my experience. Dianne Richardson also says that a normal erection is supposed to be a bit soft and 'snakey' and that best loves a women, supple to the inner folds of a women. Not rock hard and invasive, thats something we've set as a false target from PMO.

Re MO , dont stress man, but just drop kick that blasted porn once and truly down the road forever. You know its the vicious part of the PMO cycle.

Feels like youve broken the back of it!