So far so good. Had a minor case of paranoia last night coming home from a friend's. I was tired and the car behind was on my back and did some odd things. On reflection it seemed to be a small white van rather than a car and tradesmen in white vans are infamous here. In fairness I am anxious about people on my back due to the low height of the front seats in my car (original design not modded).
Was a bit snappy as well at the weekend, but that passed. Need a way to vent.
Had to head out early to work today, ment an early night and early start. Was actually a relief as it got rid of two danger times. Only bad thing is I now have a long evening alone.
I think I will have to restart some of my old Internet habits pre porn addition. I used to do a bit of 3D rendering and the like. Will avoid using anything like Poser or the like as that would be too much temptation. Will stick to abstracts or landscapes.
I am finding just blogging here to be some of the best therapy I could imagine. Just getting some of this stuff off my chest is so nice.
I also need to research meditation and maybe go in for some relaxation massage.
I have always had a bit of a problem with deleting my virtual stash. In the past I would have a flash of guilt and delete the whole thing. The next day I would swing back the other way are restore from some old backups and go on an Internet rampage. In order to get away from that swing back I have deleted 90% (in terms of space) and closer to 97% in terms of files. Hording and guilt/perverse pleasure of that hording was one of the things that got me going. I specifically targeted the high guilt areas. Hopefully in the coming weeks I will have the will power to get rid of any old discs I have around and tackling the last of the virtual stash.
Yesterday I got rid of one of the accounts that would regularly update one of my email accounts. It was Yahoo Groups. I have now stripped down the memberships to the two non-porn/non-sexual accounts. As there is a high risk of relapse (to my mind) logging in to shut down accounts, I will do them one at a time and then leave. Although signing up for an account might be easy, it is easier still to recover a password. I need to remove the main offenders and prune the ones that like Yahoo Groups have an entirely non-porn and perhaps even positive angle to them like the Freecycle Yahoo Group.