Levels of bonding

Submitted by Wiklund on
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I have some theories about bonding, sex and orgasm I like to share here.

Sex is for bonding. And there are many levels of bonding. I´m generous about what I consider as sex. For me sex is all the way from looking someone in the eyes, a hand shake, a hug, a kiss, and finally sex.

Them we have what I call levels of bonding. Bonding is the human urge to unite with someone. But as humans we can never fully unite with another, or maybe we can? Let us see...

Level 1: look someone in the eyes and a handshake.
Level 2: a hug.
Level 3: a kiss.
Level 4: sex
Level 5: here comes the interesting point: when we have an orgasm is the only time when we can really bond totally with another person. One of our cells unite with a cell of another person.

From this point of view orgasm has the function in men to ejaculate and in the woman to create a vacuum to better absorb the seed. Then orgasm is from natures point of view only for the ultimate and real bonding process. But sex without orgasm is the perfect bonding technique for humans. Sex has been used by many esoteric traditions in the past and present. Kissing and hugging has always been a part of some the rites of esoteric traditions. Tantric and Gnostic traditions include also sex. The reason is bonding and brotherhood. It is only because the indoctrination from religions that many see this as something degenerate, but when we see it from a neurological point of view it is only very natural.

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Thanks for your thoughts

I'm a little confused by your post, but I think that what you're saying is what we've also been learning here...except that sex with orgasm actually can cause emotional separation (in subtle ways) between lovers because there's more to orgasm than generally recognized. It seems  to bond couples because of the racy honeymoon neurochemistry that new lovers are jacked up on...for a while. It's really attachment cues that bond couples over time.

For more:

Orgasm’s Hidden Cycle

The Lazy Way to Stay in Love

What do you think?

Ideas v experience

Hi and welcome to reuniting. I love to hear about peoples day to day experiences, much more than about ideas and theories. Its those little successes and failures, the struggles etc that have real learning and sharing value. Look forward to hearing more from you :)