Subtle Slips

Submitted by woody0294 on
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Reboot day 190
Days to no PMO 3

Update-

I've lost a little discipline for a variety of reasons ranging from relationship and work stress to soreness in the testicles.

Over the past month I've hit the MO a on several occasions and have not been able to get the O without kicking in a little fantasy. Have also done some surfing for images-attractive girls but not porn and then cutting out without engaging in MO.

Sunday this slipped over to a look at some static Porn images-15 minutes of PMO. Crap.

Back on the wagon now and good for 3 days. Day one was a bit of stress worried that I would lose it totally and go full blow loss of control. Did not happen and is not going to happen. Back in control.

Lesson learned: like all the information on this site says, you can't play with fire. No images, no fantasy, no exceptions.

Woody

Comments

Hey,

Hey,

They could be better. Suffered a rough patch a few weeks ago where I felt hurt. I was transparent with my feelings and she was angry. The situation was really quite minor...regarding how much sleep I had before a big interview. I did not feel she was allowing me to have what I needed in order to get ready. So, I was hurt. She eventually came around and agreed but it hurt my feelings that she did not see the significance to me sooner. And, I felt bad for about a week. When I am in that negative cycle, I feel the distance increasing and it is hard to do the bonding behaviors.

I hear you,

but don't cut off your nose to spite your face. The bonding behaviors actually speed up the shift to allowing her to see her behavior differently, so if you want to be "right" sooner.... Wink

yeah

doesn't matter how you feel or how hurt you are. The fact that you get yourself to snuggle with your partner and spend that time, will assure that things will smooth out and your whole outlook and life will improve. This works even if you don't feel like it. I think it probably works even if you are very ambivalent about the other person. It's how we're designed.

I've seen people have huge problems with their life, and when they do this, everything gets better, especially non sexually linked things like success in business.

The urgent thing is simply to do it even if you don't feel like it.

Got it. Way intrigued by the

Got it. Way intrigued by the concept that "everything else gets better including non sexually linked things like success in business" It just sort of hit me with your comment that yeah they could REALLY be linked. http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html She talks about the power of vulnerability and how the only way to really live is by taking chances and being bigger than your anger, fears and weaknesses. Essentially the goal is getting down to taking risks which seems weak but in reality it is the opposite.

Did you experience some net benefit outside of the relationship from the bonding behaviors?

Thanks again for the comment -

Woody

yeah it's huge

I've experienced huge benefits outside my relationship from bonding. And I've gotten other people to do bonding, people with serious problems, and their problems have partly melted away just from that.

I've encountered some major reversals in my business and overcame them in a very short time. And during that entire time, I think that I was much more calm and rational than I would have been before.

I think much more long term now and am more focused.

I think this is all due to high levels of oxytocin. I feel much more secure and more anchored all the time and it manifests itself in the rest of my life in many ways. I coined a term sexual prosperity for what this is and what it creates in my life, and it goes far beyond sex.

Great information and thanks

Great information and thanks so much!

You are right on target. PMO never appeared to me as a drug that could have such a negative impact on my emotions but science and all the experience on this forum and others bears out the truth!