Although a bit distant, today while i was waking up, i stayed in bed for about 2 minutes, then thought of having an erection, just a thought at this point.... i felt something moving down there n i was only wearing my boxers. I felt a movement, just checked how it was with my hand and DANG an 80 % erect penis :D... i guess it was that easy coz i was only wearing shorts and nothing to resist the penile erection... any way, stood up and went on with my day :)... Guess i might be 1/4 way through.. .. ..
Two days in a row i see my self masturbating in my dreams while watching porn, i wake up yesterday with a softy, today with a 60-70% erection that lasted for 1 minute or 2. I really dont understand why i see those dreams when i dont feel like watching porn at all and i have complete control on not to touch my penis. On the good side, no ejaculation like what used to happen before (wet dreams), no clear fluid emission, my penis feels more normal now ( before it always had this tingling sensation "TOUCH ME TOUCH ME!!" when it was in its most shrunken states....)
I am having lots of those, just 1 last night... i really wish of a way to stop them... i can have 1 every 3-4 days.. this is irritating, i wake up and feel like i did masturbate, why is this happening?? or does it need some time to adapt the body not to ejaculate?? u guess i should concentrate more before i go to sleep on " No ejaculation tonight" and i might have a chance to deny my self of doing anything naughty in whatever dream i see...
Yesterday, 1st hardcore training session, running 4kms, 1 hour of spinning, 1 km up hill running, strength training and other fitness stuff... 4 n half hours of training. Done training and stayed in nearly ice cold water for 3 minutes... now thats a day, went home ate and slept..
Woke up during last night's sleep twice to boners... about 80-90% ( yet so solid)... then decided to get out of bed, went to pee, got a 60% 1 that stayed for 3-4 minutes..
Neglection is the key!.. just throw it NO ATTENTION AT ALL!! forget that u r rebooting, what is rebooting..? actually, wtf is PORN?? what is masturbation?? ha ha.. and things will come back like the time u were 15 i guess :)...
Urges to masturbate are huge.. no other solution but to neglect them. my organ wants to be touched.. by any means... just fight that, or even dont pay any attention, it is not there!
ehh... well, i did not want to post while in this condition but thought it is necessary...... nervousness, more of anger than anxiety, feeling old injuries all over my body, HEADACHE, heart goes arrhythmic more often... flu like symptoms... so pale... i guess all of this is a cocktail of withdrawals. (weed + porn + masturbation + smoking).... never felt more wrecked like now....
guess my body is healing thu, its like i was numbed the past couple of years and i am starting to feel what my body is really going through......
Well, so far, things are alright..... brain is getting more keen and focused although a feeling of depression or more of "boredom" is what i am at now.. no more smoking, porn, nor any other bullshit i used to do... trying to be committed to training although not feeling like it always.. starting next friday gonna have a diet plan and get ahead on track... i just do not count days, not at all, i only look at the state i am at now and then remember when was it i said its enough just to ease my self and say ow come on not much time passed. :)
Thought may be if i switch off my laptop, change the enviroment, the house, the city for a while it might be helpful..... i guess ill do that starting morning, i hope ill be back with improvements both in shape and mentality. :)
Please all do pray for me. :)
Had a dream that i was masturbating today... i wake up to find that i did ejaculate... went to the bathroom to shower, the moment i touched it i ejaculated again..... Not going to go near my organ AGAIN..this sucks...lol