a taste of The Coolidge effect

Submitted by XPornHead30 on
Printer-friendly version

A brief update: I have been dating this girl now for about 5 months and things are going incredibly well. She lives about 2.5 hours away and we have been seeing eachother in 3 to 6 day groupings about twice a month. So far, these meetings have been filled with bonding, fun, and fantastic and frequent sex. However, I have noticed some changes on our last visit. She came up to see me and I had just finished up a really rough 2 weeks on night shift. Plus my parents happened to be visiting at the time (4 people in a 1 br apt uggh!) Anyhow, i tried to shift to a day schedule to accomidate my guests, which resulted in me basically becoming a zombie for the last 4 days. Sexually, I was not quite as arousable as before and I was finding it very difficult to delay ejaculation for more than 5 minutes or so whenever we had sex. Sex was still good and we both enjoyed it, so no real problem, just not the mind-blowing sex that we had come to expect. I took some initiative though. I figured a little karezza-like non orgasmic activity would do some good. So late one night when we started making out, i asked if we could just do some subtle sexual things and not go all the way. She gladly agreed and we cuddled kissed and pleasured eachother gently. I became hard very quickly and stayed hard the whole time. I lightly caressed her breasts and vaginal area and she lightly stroked my penis. It was great! I we just did that and talked for like an hour. I had been fighting insomnia the whole time so in the morning I was pretty fatigued. But I felt horny and we ended up having sex again and I lasted for a bit longer.

Anyways, I definitely feel the power of the coolidge effect now that I have had a high quantity of orgasms with her, but in the midst of that, I am learning the value of "less is more". I also think that there is some kind of link between fatigue and PE. Overall, however, relationship is going great and, I am still WAY better off than in the PMO days. Its my first day away from her and I am starting to feel the feelings of sexual longing returning to my body. I think that the next time we have sex, I will try some more of the non-orgasmic play. I don't think i can reliably handle being inside her without cumming yet, so i might just stick to the stroking non-intercourse stuff for now. Im sure we will continue to have orgasmic sex as well, but I think I by substitutin in some karezza (i guess that the things I have described could qualify as karezza) I can lower my orgasm frequency and have more overall sexual energy.


These kinds of experiments

are really helpful. I think they definitely have effects on the nervous system. Remember arousal is a parasympathetic response, while ejacualtion is a sympathetic response. So your results could be explained that way.

Did you ever read this article? http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/neotaoism_and_karezza

The more performance-oriented lovers get, the more both partners start to imagine that the other one values performance more than connection. So those gentle, non-goal-oriented sessions really help remind you that you're not just together for hot sex.