Tips for how to fight the urge

Submitted by Jibj on
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-EXERCISE: this can't be overemphasized. Regular (and fairly intense) cardio and weightlifting help a great deal.

-DIET: Follow a diet that is sattvic (as described by the Indian religions of Sikhism/Hinduism/Buddhism). Fruits and veggies, whole grains, and dairy are considered sattvic foods. Not eating too much and avoiding too much spices and stimulants all help when combined with regular physical activity.

-MEDITATE: when a person meditates regularly the urges can be better controlled. Naam japna meditation I've found easier than mindfulness and some other types. It can also be done while walking around. If left free, our minds will get us into trouble, will revert to habitual thinking patterns. Keeping the mind busy in God/Universe/Source's Name is helpful.

Just a note that suddenly beginning intense meditation can lead to increased lust. When we wash dirty clothes with soap the dirt rises to the surface of the water as the clothes are cleaned. Similarly, when we intensively clean our mind the ''dirt'' of lust rises up the surface in greater amounts than anticipated. This is a normal part of the cleaning process. So ease yourself into it!!

Things that worked for me

My journey initially included Christian counseling, celibacy and a return to Faith in God. The thing that made the most impact for me was the book - "Every Man's Battle" This book pointed out exactly what my problem was and how to attack it. I still fail occasionally, but keep going back to this as my plan for recovery.

I now exercise regularly again and find that extremely helpful. Diet is next on the list. I hope to add meditation in some form. I struggle with that. I need to learn to calm my mind.

I think I should note that celibacy was not for religious reasons. My reason was the same as all addictions. If you are addicted to alcohol, stop drinking. I simply did the same with all forms of sexual expression at least to the greatest degree possible. This also allowed me to stop involving my wife in my sexual quagmire, to stop the hurt and start the healing. We were very open with each other about this. If we had not found Karezza and this site, I am sure we would have been celibate for life. It was a better alternative for us than traditional intercourse.

Just stop

I was watching a show where a guy brought on a small and skinny guy and he said that he used to weigh so and so pounds. And he asked him how he got skinny, and the skinny man said: I just stopped eating!

There's an ironic simplicity in all of this

How true!

Simple, yet so difficult for many of us. The road into addiction, compulsive behaviors, etc. is an easy path to follow. An escape from the real world for most. Finding your way back out is venturing into uncharted territory for most, when all we have to do is - STOP!

I think all the techniques we use boil down to learning to control our own minds, to retrain them so we can JUST STOP!!!

Good readings

I found this in his "8 pillars of success":

Attractiveness is the direct outcome of simplicity. This is seen in the attractiveness of all natural objects; to which we have referred, but in human nature it is manifested as personal influence. Of recent years certain pseudomystics have been advertising to sell the secret of “personal magnetism” for so many dollars, by which they purport to show vain people how they can make themselves attractive to others by certain “occult” means as though attractiveness can be brought and sold, and put on and off like powder and paint. Nor are people who are anxious to be thought attractive, likely to become so, for their vanity is a barrier to it. The very desire to be thought attractive is, in itself, a deception, and it leads to the practice of numerous deceptions. It infers, too, that such people are conscious of lacking the genuine attractions and graces of character, and are on the look out for a substitute; but there is no substitute for beauty of mind and strength of character. Attractiveness, like genius, is lost by being coveted, and possessed by those who are too solid and sincere of character to desire it. There is nothing in human nature – nor talent, nor intellect, nor affection, nor beauty of features that can compare in attractive power with that soundness of mind and wholeness of heart which we call sincerity. There is a perennial charm about a sincere man or woman, and they draw about themselves the best specimens of human nature. There can be no personal charm apart from sincerity. Infatuation there may be, and is, but this is a kind of disease, and is vastly different from the indissoluble bond by which sincere people are attached. Infatuation ends in painful disillusion, but as there is nothing hidden between sincere souls, and they stand upon that solid ground of reality, there is no illusion to be displayed.

Thank you for this post.

Thank you for this post. I've been mediating and exercising regularly, but this helps reaffirm my need for these actions. I plan to start a better diet too, but I find it harder to keep up.




Then, relax , read a book and sleep!

I can relate!!

This is a personal hurdle for me. And I am a strong in mind, body and soul!! However my personality is one of attraction, indulgences and strong sexual desire & projection. I have been in a losing battle to many of my desires for a majority of my life. Fortunately the only addiction I have is women. I have been practicing Karezza on & off for about 18 months, I have been a poor student until very recently. I had a breakthrough in mentally dealing with my strong almost constant sexual desires. I meditate and that has helped to some degree and maybe that’s why/how I had my breakthrough?

I’m learning to redirect my sexual desires on myself. Asking myself WHY am I feeling like this? Is this really me (or is this society projection on how I supposed to behave). Why do I have this sexual urge? I have done the same in my relationship and has yielded positive results. So basically I am learning to focus my thoughts at ALL times. Real Alchemy!! I do not allow myself to think about sex, why? Well because when you are practicing Karezza erections are not fun! That is why I failed so many times in the past, I was fricken backed up and walking around with a woody 24/7.

With that said tonight is day 10 and I have had sex twice. Planning on having an orgasm tonight, lets see how I’m doing in another 10-14 days?