Does anybody else feel this way?

Submitted by JustSomeone on
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After about 23 days of abstinence I fell back for awhile. So I am starting over again. No big deal.

Anyway, I noticed something interesting and I am wondering if it is only me who feels this way or if others do too.

When I am in periods of P/M/O it seems that throughout my day I always in need of some sound or noise in the background. That is, I need the radio on, or TV on in the background, or some music playing on my computer. It's like I just can't take the quiet.

However, after I've been abstaining for awhile I noticed that I enjoy the quiet. I no longer need the sounds or noise in the background. In fact I seek out quietness when I can.

It's difficult to explain why I feel I need the noise other than to say it helps to drown out the noise in my head. I guess it is as if, because of the chemical chaos going on in my brain, my thoughts are in a state of chaos, and in order to get away from my internal chaos, the external noise provides my subconscious something to latch on to and keep it occupied.

Whereas when my chemicals are more in balance, my thoughts are more in balance and clearer. There is more internal peace and therefore I am able to enjoy the mental order of my thoughts and no longer require the medication of distraction.

Or, maybe I have no idea what I am talking about.

Thoughts or feedback?

Oh yes, I know what you mean.

I think when we are in the throws of an addictive pattern, the noise around us definitely tunes out the noise in our heads. I have made it a habit for many years now to not have the TV or radio on at home. Especially when there are other people around because I want to be able to clearly hear them and converse. It is a pet peeve of mine that people leave the TV or stereo on without asking when you are visiting them. Not conducive to strong interactions.

Another thing that has helped me learn to love the silence is meditation. When I am in a good space I literally crave the silence and a time of 'no mind'. When I am not, I tend to avoid it. Bottom line for me: I am either expanding or contracting in my experiencing of life. Neither is 'right' or 'wrong' and both are temporary. Awareness is what it's about.

I love your phrase, "medication of distraction". There's a whole world in that statement. [ok]

I'm biased because I like

I'm biased because I like quite. Quite is beautiful. You can hear the subtle noises of life. You can hear your own brain working. All the noise people listen to is too stimulating. This helps me understand why everyone else likes noise and can't be with themselves and their thoughts. I've theorized that they don't want to hear their thoughts or that they have none. I have noticed I react differently to sounds and music even though I still have the same preference for quite.

I have noticed this as well

However, I did not put 2 and 2 together until your post. I have listened to books on tape for years in the car. I enjoy books, plus it kept my mind occupied and therefor assisted in avoiding sexual fantasy. However, lately, I have taken a break and find I do not even turn on the radio! Also, when home alone, I do not turn on the TV or listen to music either. I think a lot, but not about sexual stuff anymore! Thanks for pointing this out!


Noise I work in a large,


I work in a large, busy OPEN office. 100+ people, small cubes with low walls. Loud typing, phones, speaker phone conference calls, discussions, whispering, meetings, complaining, music from the leaky headphones of the person next to me, jokes, all day long, every day. It doesn't quiet down until about 5:30 pm, when 90% of the people have gone home. I *have* to use headphones, and soothing music to be able to concentrate and do any work at all.

At home, not so much - unless I'm doing heavy cleaning - then I want to dance around, and so music is a part of the fun.

Where is the silence when you live in the city? Outside, it's cars, airplanes, kids, dogs, sirens, and leaf blowers.



Thank you all for your feedback.

thriving_artist, I've been learning about meditation too and find it a good supplement to abstinence in that I think it helps accelerate the move towards a calm and clear mind.

Noise medicaiton!

I've recently made that connection too.

Just recently the weather has changed I've been able to have the windows open. I can hear birds outside, children playing, the sound of the wind, vehicles coming down the block occasionally. Turning off the TV and music has brought nature back inside and it simply feels good. I think more without those other distractions and that can be a problem if the thoughts aren't what I want them to be but I'm learning how to change that.


[quote=Orchid]...brought nature back inside and it simply feels good.[/quote]

Last week I did something that I do not ever remember doing anything like and enjoyed it. I went and sat by a pond in the sun.

If anyone would have ever asked me if I wanted to go sit by a pond in the sun I would have laughed at them. But the other day I went on my own free will. I had no watch or sense of time. I just let the sun wash over me as an occasional butterfly fluttered by, as a random splash would happen here or there in the water, or as a gentle breeze would push some lily pads to make different shapes in the water. I felt like I just wanted to stay there forever.

Yes, abstinence does bring nature back inside and it does feel good.

Nature is nurture, not verses.

[quote=JustSomeone][quote=Orchid]...brought nature back inside and it simply feels good.[/quote]

Last week I did something that I do not ever remember doing anything like and enjoyed it. I went and sat by a pond in the sun.[/quote]

Nature nurtures us.

My husband started taking some of his workouts to the outdoors weather permitting. He did his cardio outside by the ocean. I could see an amazing difference in his sense of calmness when he returned. For us, this season is just starting again and he recently walked outside and enjoyed it. He combines this with the indoor gym training. I believe it's healthy for body and soul. :)

Similarly, I swimm outside when the weather permits. No noise, taking time to float on my back, ears under water, looking up at the sky, watching the clouds change shapes. It is something children do but adults are too busy to enjoy.

The simple things in life are often the best!