Day 15 and absolutely no sex drive or erections.

Submitted by Confinement84 on
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Hey again, I recently posted my Life story on Porn but have ran into a few issues. Today is Day 15 of NO PMO at all! So far it has been very easy for me to control my urges. I don't even think twice about logging online for P. However, In these 15 days I haven't had ONE erection including mornings. It seems my libido is at a all time low, even dangerously low. I feel like physically I'm not there at all, however mentally I still constantly thinking awful thoughts when I seen pretty woman. I even day dream about woman without even realizing it. Is this normal? How long before I can achieve a Morning Erection? It is so frustrating. This is going to sound very weird but it also seems like Mr.Happy has gotten smaller or always in the "shrinkage" stage unless I've been holding in urine for awhile. However my testicles seems to be fuller? If that makes any sense. Also I started getting very slight back pains and even a slight almost unnoticeable pain around my testicles. Usually notice the pain around nighttime before bed. (this just started happening in the last day or 2).

On a side note, I was doing some research on Dopamine levels during S or M and came across something rather interesting and I'm not sure if you guys ever touched on this subject. I read reaching orgasm with your significant other will release 400% more Prolactin in the brain opposed to reaching orgasm solo. Supposedly this Prolactin counteracts the negative effects of too much dopamine being released. Has anybody ever heard of that? Would seem to make sense why people with healthy sex lives don't seem to get the negative effects of us PMO addicts. -Thanks


Yes, it's normal for libido to flat-line for a while during recovery, especially if one of the symptoms you were noticing before you began the experiment was trouble getting erections (without extreme stimulation/porn). Did you read this article?

Yes, we know about that research and we discuss it in our book. We also wrote an article about it a few years ago:

It's not clear that more prolactin is necessarily always a good thing - even though it may knock you out better after orgasm. Wink It may even play a role in causing mates to habituate to each other. It's more important, perhaps, for lovers to steer for a middle ground that doesn't leave them hungry, and also doesn't dampen desire too much. See "Another Way to Make Love."

It's not unusual to experience some discomfort, anxiety...and many other symptoms during the reboot. Be patient.

Maybe you short circuited

Maybe you short circuited the flat line period. Or not everyone is the same. I'm starting to kind of get what you're complaining about as the past week has been a bit much...less loving feeling and greater sex drive. I (we) need to find outlets and channel the energy. You should see what happened when I decided I need to clean up a room because it is a distant, but necessary precursor to sex. Wink It was procrastination turned on its head. Maybe I'll go into next term with the mindset A's lead to sex. This seems a bit abnormal, but maybe this is actually normal. Time will tell where I settle down.

Hey, I've done the same thing!

But I cleaned the whole *HOUSE*, and put up new curtains in the bedroom, and made cookies. Wink

I once had a guy offer to make me dutch baby pancakes. He and I were 15. He burned the dutch babies, because we got distracted.



This normal. Hang in there. You probably are getting night erections (and morning erections) you just don't realise. If you wake up to an alarm, try waking up naturally. This will make sure you wake up just after the REM cycle and you'll still have your nocturnal wood. If you still don't think you're getting erections at night, you can always do the postage stamp test. Wrap a row of postage stamps around your penis and see if the perforations are broken when you wake up. This might restore some faith in your penis. Best thing you can do though is give it time. Your body is amazingly adaptable and will restore balance eventually.

One extreme to the other

Hello all, Day 22.... my ED has to be completely gone by now. Morning wood last few days and rock hard erections out of no where. Seeing a real woman, thinking of 1, a commercial with a hot woman anything remotely related to sex and I have spontaneous, super, rock hard erections lol. I know it is a good thing but it is starting to become very difficult to not MO. Well to be honest, I did "play" with it for a bit and nearly O'd today. Thankfully I was able to stop myself RIGHT before the point of no return. The P hasnt been much of an issue because I know of the negetive effects and I already removed all my links/videos/pictures I had stored away. But its so solid and sensitive its really making me think about PMO alot. I've been thinking at the end of the week I may have to get a "massage" at the local Parlor just to relieve this tension. Would that be bad? I feel like I need to "test" mr happy to make sure I wont have any performance anxiety or premature ejaculation issues before I start a real relationship with a person I care about. Though I feel like I wouldnt last 1 min in to penetration. Any thoughts? I figured if I can keep my O's to 1 time per 3 weeks or so WITHOUT PORN!. Because going complete abstinence is starting to get a bit distracting. Today for example I was on the treadmill at the gym and I got this uncontrollable erection out of now where popping out. A bit embarrassing. What would you guys think is a "safe" O time frame, assuming no P and I keep the M short and sweet. If this helps answer your question I've been stuck on porn for a good 12+ years and only been sober from PMO 22 days and I have no gf/wife right now.

PS I was hoping a wet dream would occur soon . Maybe that would help?

Thanks all. Happy New years!

Oh and on a side note...

I felt like my social anxiety was up after M (without P and O). I was a bit aroused by some risque photos a woman sent me on an online dating site(no nudity) but she was in a bikini in the pool and very pretty. That couldn't over stimulate the mind and release dopamine could it with no orgasm? I feel like I'm walking a fine line here. -Take care all

My first thought

When you said you wanted to "test" mr. happy~~your penis may still not "behave" the way you want it to because this person is a stranger...and you're not in love with her, don't have trust built up with her, etc.

Just throwing that out there in case you go ahead with it~~just something to keep in mind. I think men's penises know these things. Smile


Appreciate the advice.

This escort I'm referring to I actually have seen a few times and have had pretty good experiences with in the past. Honestly, part of me wants to go because I really want to O to relieve my tension with out Porn and masturbation. Part of me wants to go just to see how long I can last inside her seeing as how I've been sober from PMO for 23 days (more like 30 by the time I decide to go or not). I'm convinced I will have no performance anxiety or porn related ED due to my hornyness level and strength of erections, but I get the feeling I will literally orgasm within a min or 2 due to no PMO for 23 days. That is why I'd like to" test "myself with a person that I dont really care for on an emotional level vs a potential girl friend.

I'm guessing alot of people would just say GET A GIRL FRIEND THEN!! But I feel like my social anxiety would be through the roof not knowing of what would happen in bed after being sober from PMO for 30+ days. Been really working on the girlfriend thing(talking to woman and online dating sites) but also I feel like I shouldn't make any commitments until I have been sober from Marijuana for at least 30+ days(smoked many times a day for 10 years straight). Sober from PMO and escorts 23ish days, Sober from pot 8 days. I feel like my personality is changing in several ways and also I feel so emotionally unbalanced right now quitting so many addictions at once. I don't want to go out on a date with a girl that I care about and be half way through recovery and detox of weed if that makes any sense to you guys.

Anyways, Thanks for the advice. It feels really good for me to share my thoughts with you guys.
-Take care

So happy for you and Mr. Happy :-)

That was a pretty quick turn around. Ultimately you have to find balance, and how you do that is up to you. I can understand your anxiety. At the end of the day, you'll probably end up making various experiments and learning lots of different things. So don't worry. Smile