Submitted by Hambone on
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Hi everyone, thanks for this great site, I have been reading here for a couple days. Marnia, I see you respond to every single person here, you are a walking saint - god bless you.

I am 27 years old, and I have used porn for about 10 years. I tried quitting when I was 24, and after 1 month clean, I had my only relationship since starting porn use. However, it took a bad turn when we were having sex for the first time, and I was unable to get the job done. I was very turned on, right up to the point when we had sex, and then suddenly I was no longer aroused by her. It was very frustrating and it led to the end of the relationship. It also led to 3 more years of porn for me. She was still interested in me, and willing to work through it. But I wasn't ready to stop isolating myself.

Fast forward to this past August. I gave up marijuana, my other addiction, and am now 4.5 months clean. Being free from that addiction has given me first hand experience of how much better life can get without a monkey on my back, and it has inspired me to beat my porn addiction, no matter what I have to do. I began reading the book "The Porn Trap" and I made it 11 days without porn, but I gave up when I lost my libido completely for about a week. Against my better judgment I used porn to double check that everything was still working down there. It was all fine and in good working order, and now since reading this site I have an understanding of what is going on. I just need to wait through it while my neuroplasticizers rewire themselves and reboot the system :). The Porn Trap is a great book, but it didn't do a very good job of preparing me for the experience of withdrawal. I can thank all of the posters here for sharing their experiences and enlightening me in that regard

Today is day 4 on the long road out of hell. I'm glad this community is here and I'd like to progress together with all of you.

Love, Light, and Life,

Welcome, Hambone. Good work

Welcome, Hambone.

Good work on going 11 days, and now 4. Also, good work on the marijuana addiction.

Yeah, withdrawal is tough. I don't think any book can prepare you for your own unique experience of withdrawal.

Also, yes, Marnia is a saint for responding to everyone I don't think I'd have the energy and attention span to do that, haha.

Good vibes and good luck.

That story sounds

familiar. Smile

Yes it's fascinating that you have to walk through the desert of flat-line libido to come out the other end with erectile health. Who would have thought?? You can thank the guys here for having the courage to test the theory that the brain would return to normal sensitivity if you just stop pounding it with overstimulation. As soon as they began reporting success, I began reporting it to the world. Wink Can't have men fretting about their erections.

I've enabled you to blog.

I'm certainly not a saint, but I do love men and hearing what makes them tick better. "Happy men, happy planet," is my motto! It's very gratifying to see you guys bounce back to your cocky, confident selves, having gained a lot of wisdom on the journey.

We met "The Porn Trap" authors for lunch when they came through our town last summer. Really nice couple. I'm sure they shared everything they knew, but experts have not been investigating the effects of Internet porn on the brain yet, so all there is to help you guys is your own experience plus interpolation from research on other behavioral addictions. It's hard to know what's important. Even when we wrote our book, no one had yet tried the rebooting-to-cure-ED technique, so I just threw in an allusion to porn as a possible cause. That's not enough to really help someone make it across the desert. It's great to have a fuller understanding.

Let us know how you get on.

Thanks to both of you. I

Thanks to both of you. I will keep a blog here, I am already liking the positives :) There's some good foreshadowing going on.

On behalf of women everywhere, Marnia, I anoint you the saint of satisfaction. :)

When I quit marijuana, one of the final pieces of the puzzle was reading through people's web logs of quitting. There I learned that the withdrawal and recovery process takes about 1 year on average, as opposed to the 1-2 months that I had read so often in scientific journal articles. The physical withdrawal ends around 2 months, but people might not "feel normal" or motivated about life until the 1 year mark. Here I had been trying to quit for years, but giving up when I didn't feel any better after a month or two. Little did I know I was right at the peak of the withdrawal symptoms at that point! A little bit of knowledge goes a long way in this journey. Just knowing what to expect, and believing that it eventually ends is all the equipment a willing quitter needs.


I, too, was naive. When the first porn guys showed up, I thought they could bounce back in two weeks. That was based on my knowledge of a subtle neurochemical cycle after orgasm that can be a week or two in some folks.

HA! I was wrong. But the ED problem really does seem to show serious signs of improvement by two months in most folks, so hopefully you'll get good results. The one warning is that if you go back to hypersexual stimuli, you can numb up your brain's response to pleasure all over again. So it's kind of a one-way street. You'll just have to rely on sensual sex instead of porn, I guess. Wink