I’ve been thinking about the spectrum of emotions that underlie sexuality. Love is there, but not always and maybe not often. People often refer to masturbation as self-love and sex as love. Could it actually be self-mutilation and mutilation? Perhaps even a lesser form of cutting. The numbness is convenient as one can feel some pain while simultaneously numbing that pain. We need to vent pain we experience. We're addicted to venting the pain through numbness. But perhaps the can be vented through love or just on its own. The pain can be subconscious, emotional, etc. It need not be physical pain. But it can be and sometimes is depending on what one is doing. I suspect that this bringing to life pain aspect exists in sex with another too. Perhaps karezza is sexual practice devoid of this anti-love, pain, mutilation, etc.
Presuming that karezza is near the balancing point, what then is the other extreme on the spectrum? It could be that there is a spectrum between allowing another to inflict pain and self-inflicting pain in the name of love. Karezza then could be in the middle where there is no pain and only love. The lack of pain would explain the lack of the need for an extreme numbing high.
If this model makes sense, it helps explain what I’ve perceived as self-karezza. It is almost like fantasy, but not quite. There is no numbing or stimulation. It seems to primarily about allowing the mind-body to feel itself in a loving way...the same way one would allow another to feel their self.