I'm very new to this site, so I'm still sorting a few things out. I haven't read throught the whole site (it's huge) and I haven't recieved the book yet. But everything I've read mirrors a lot of stuff I've encountered already. Neurochemistry is an important subject for me. I'm a third verifiable generation "aspi." I have what is known as Aspergers Syndrome (although I'm not comfortable with the illness connotation "syndrome" brings to the term.) My son is passing on the torch and was a catylist for my family discovering why we are all the way we are.
In any event, the process of trying to find a way for my son's journey to adulthood to be less confusing and problematic than mine, my dad's or my grandmothers has been epic to say the least. What started out as a search for some kind of cure or therapy has evolved into an appreciation for how our neuro-makeup is not all that undesirable. It simply has features that our society doesn't want to embrace and challenges that self-knowledge can help with.
Believe it or not, this isn't off-topic. Aspi's struggle most with social interaction and all the non-verbal stuff that goes with it. Other people simply overload us when they get too close physically or socially. I've never had any abnormal problems with intimacy once the relationship was established. But getting to that was an extra challenge. Very early on I compensated with my fantasy life and puberty transformed that into a very intense sexual dysfuntion.
I read people's posts here about their struggles with orgasm addiction and it makes me feel better about my whole life.
I came to this site after already committing to an experiment with my neurochemistry. Like a lot of you, I've never gone more than a few days without orgasm. Mostly through masturbation. The altered mental states and patterns I go through in this cycle are familiar old foils. So I just wanted to see what would happen if I went without orgasm.
I'm on day five now and I have two questions:
1. According to the thinking here, should I avoid all sex for the initial period, or just orgasm? I ask this because...
2. Last night I had amazing no orgasm sex with my wife. I wanted to see what would happen if giving was my whole goal. I have to say it was a very positive and different experience. I didn't have to struggle to suppress the orgasm - there was just a natural stopping point when I sensed my wife was done. Lucky maybe. But afterword, I noticed a remarkable altered state happen to me. It wasn't subtle - it was like I was very stoned and everything was beautiful. It lasted for about three hours and then went to bed. This morning I woke up feeling sore and cranky, much like a regular after orgasm crash. Maybe that was just regualr dopamine withdrawl. I don't notice anyone else reporting effects of this type so soon during the journey. Has anyone else experienced this or do you think that maybe my aspergers makeup is adding an additional factor that could change things?