Today I Make My Resolution!

Submitted by hayduke on
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I just recently hit my first set goal of 15 days without porn/ejaculation.
After I blogged about my success, Hotspring asked me what my next goals are, and I thought, "how appropriate." It is kind of that time of year anyways. Welcome 2009! I predict a year of personal growth, development, change, newness, and hope!

So lets hear 'em... Goals, New Years Resolutions, Hopes, Dreams, Aspirations, Lofty Aims, Simple Edicts, whatever you want to share.

I shall go first!

I mentioned in my blog that I am skiing in a big race in February.
My first goal for 2009 is to focus on getting into race-shape... that will require great effort, but I have done it before, and so far i am well on track... I have put on over 25 miles this week alone! I need to ski every day in order to really be able to compete without embarrassing myself.

I am tying to that goal a prolonged bout of abstinence. (and no, marnia, I am not trying to set a world record!:P) I am not going to masturbate until my race is done. there are a few reasons for this... one is just to stay focused on training. two is to make sure i steer clear of porn in the near future. I want to reroute my brain circuitry towards a new end, and hopefully no longer relying on porn or fantasy as much to get off. I want to value real interactions with people over stimulating video fiction. I don't want to objectify women anymore, and I want to be able to offer a future partner a self-less love, not interested in instant gratification through quick orgasm, or intensely arousing intercourse. maybe I can eliminate the Delta FosB protein said to linger for up to 2 months :)
A big change is in store for me! I am moving out of my parents house again, and going off to college in only 2 weeks!
I just earned my associates degree, and I am transferring to a four year UW college.
I will live people my age. I will interact with my female house mates daily, and I really hope I can gain a new respect for women by living with them in a non-sexual context.

My goals for 2009 in terms of schooling and carreer are this: I want to get involved with student organizations relevant to my major (Environmental Education/interpretation), and hopefully by next year I can rise to a level of leadership. not an easy goal for a transfer student, but I think I could manage it well.
I want to graduate in spring of 2010, and I want to be successful in my field. This means I need to focus on school, and get involved in order to gain more practical experience, which in turn will make me hire able. My field is a competitive one, and jobs often go to women actually, because men are more threatening to children. I am not a particularly threatening male, thankfully :)

So, 2009; here I come!
I want to maintain balance, grow spiritually, be healthier in all aspects, and achieve success as a student of natural resources.


Here are mine:

Here are mine:

- Become able to dream lucidly and regularly
- Become more ambidexterous (more strength in left side, less reliance on right hand while giving massage - I am a massage therapist)
- Improve my memory (memorize Neruda's love poems)
- Learn Tango or Salsa
- Compost my food waste, save energy by shutting off power cables at night, keep air flights down to one a year max
- Reduce debt, increase income
- Work through my mistrust of men, be love, fall deeply in love, continue to explore sacred sex
- Write for a minimum of two hours every week
- Laugh more
- Keep dancing no matter what!

I want to learn how to dream

I want to learn how to dream lucidly.

I dont dream at all, frankly. or at least, very seldom... and I rarely remember them later.
its a bummer, because dreams can be so much fun.

thanks for posting, hotspring.
i want to laugh more, too.
I want refine my social skills
I want to be completely me.. I have felt fully myself in two separate communites, and it is a lovely thing. When I am home, my fun side gets repressed.

Lately I have been thinking, though, that I should stop thinking about me so much. I am reading Tom Robbins "Jitterbug Perfume"
its lovely, and contains so many things i have been working through, and thinking about.
(it even has a brief paragraph describing Karezza between the two main characters!)
I want to share a passage, but I dont have the book with me. soon i shall.



I have often found that when I use a teslar chip under my pllow at night not only do i dream but I wake up completely refreshed and even if I have only had a few hours of sleep I feel great! here's the link to Teslar technology you could also run your own google search and see what you find. But I have the technology on my mobile phone, car, pc, house electrics and water. Its incredible simply works well.
see what you think!

Looking forward

to the excerpt. I think I once read that book...and yet I don't remember that specific passage.

As for resolutions...ever since I discovered that part of my mission was understanding some of the strange ideas at this site, I haven't bothered with resolutions. How could I think up anything as weird and wonderful as what actually came my way? Wink


1. I resolve to surrender my addiction to porn and paying for sex, I know that this is my primary frontier where a leap of faith, committment, strength and an ultimately undying sense of unconditional Love will proove me successful.

2. This Year I am honouring women and being there to love them unconditionally, I really love it when I transform my relationships with women and I am no longer afraid of beauty and the feminine, it facilitates intimacy, the very thing a yearned for. Now I dont need to have sex to find it! I have begun to do this again through Bodywork, Hawaiian Lomi Lomi Massage. This has allowed me the oppurtunity to transform desire to watch and witness my feelings and come from a space of Love rather than lust.

3. I commit to manifesting my dream of teaching my personal style of Art Therapy to Youth, Adults and the Elderly. Taking my passion for creativity and being in service through this. My sexuality I know is primarily my creativity and it comes as no suprise that I have struggled to paint (I am an Artist) for quite some time. Due to my energy having gone into porn and prostitutes. I am off to Hawaii in Early February to do an Art retreat with a world famous artist Alex Grey!

4. I will remain committed to being alone without a sexual partner for the duration of this year, to gather my energy, to know myself and to integrate my marriage's end. I have found that already I have had the oppurtunity to say no to a gorgeous woman who was quite forward. Yes! this is huge for me and I am growing!

5. I resolve to be there for my Children to the best of my Ability! To provide for them through my creative work. I love my children and I find that the more I give of my Time, energy and money and Love, the rwards are in their strength, wellbeing and their happiness.

I never thought doing the work and turning up for life could feel this good. I thought that the easy road was sweeter. Now I see that through discipline comes true freedom (my Yoga teacher was right!)

thank you hayDuke!

Art therapy, you say?

Do you practice Art Therapy as a profession?
I would love to hear more about this if you do... My ex is currently pursuing a dream of art therapy. I told her she should find someone who actually makes a living doing it, and ask what kind of steps they took to get where they are. she is currently finishing her undergrad, and plans going on to graduate school....
so much debt for to enter a field with many unknowns; she cant tell me of even one art therapist that she knows of, or what they even do.
(not that she needs to get rich, but can she even expect to make money?)


My list for 2009

In no particular order..

1. Get off the porn and masturbation addiction, of course. This is the condition sine qua non, since the addiction hijacks my mind from other projects.

2. Get in shape. I have about 15 pounds to shed, and I get tired even after a short walk.

3. Find a life purpose, or a mission. Not a hobby, not a "job", not a past time. Something to live for, and something which could unify under a single umbrella my interests. Maybe I am asking too much, since my interests are varied and encompass both the left brain stuff and the right brain stuff. I was thinking something about Artificial Intelligence, since I seem to have a flair for spotting patterns and reducing complexity to simple steps. Perhaps I will have to move to the US or Canada.

4. Get my finances straight. I have no debts and I do have savings, I don't waste anything and I never buy useless junk but I want to get financially independent once and for all.

5. Expand my english vocabulary. My aim is 25,000 words + idioms, proverbs, sayings and non-US slangs. Assuming that I already have around 6000 words under my belt and 1000/2000 of the other stuff, this will take at least 2/3 years.. 30/60 items per day.

6. Work heavily on my social skills. This includes a whole subset of smaller skills - small talk, body language, facial expressions, general culture, so it's going to be huge and possibly entertaining!

7. Build a conscious life. In short, I want to consciously shape my life based on a planned system of values, beliefs, behaviours and interests, consistent in both thought and action, with a focus on honesty, truth, love and abundance. A life where "discipline" is not required, because all those things come out naturally as part of a bigger, coherent whole and not a half-assed "fake it until it's true" self improvement bullcrap.

8. ...perhaps, pursuing a relationship. It's the last point for a reason: I don't believe it's healthy to pursue a relationship while the rest of your life is out of order. First of all, you are acting at the worst of your capabilities - behavioral and mental ones - and this means instability with all its consequences. Second, you may start to consider the relationship as the only "safe haven" of your life - big mistake, since you cannot control other people, including the people you have a relationship with.

So, that's all.

On relationships - for men

If you realize that *you* are the gift to the other person in the relationship, then relationship can be helpful right from the start. (In contrast if you just think of a relationship as something you can benefit from, you're coming from a sense of lack. That is the basis of most earthly relationships, and that can backfire.)

The fact is, just your male energy and outlook can really increase the well-being of a partner. Trust me. In fact, that's the most important thing you have to offer, even if you later make a million and become as handsome as Redbeard. Wink It's your essence, your energy, your smile, and your male perspective alone that will really nourish your sweetheart and make her glow. Lovemaking is icing on the cake.

Don't wait to be "perfect" to share your gifts. Give these energy gifts unconditionally to a partner. They will come back to you...if not with that partner, then with a future one.

Share yourselves with the world. It's the best way to see how powerful and valuable you really are.

Sorry to be "mushy" here, gentlemen, but it is not an accident that amazing things begin to happen when we share ourselves safely...that is, with conscious awareness of how mating and bonding work. For example, I worked on my book for over ten years...but it only found a publisher once I connected with Gary. (He had nothing directly to do with finding the publisher; one of his colleagues made the connection. Yet, I'm convinced his presence made it possible.)

These kind of things happen over and over. Reach out and see what happens. Start with a friendship. It works on that level, too. Look what "Thriving" has discovered. Not a bad place to begin learning how productive a generous connection can be.

(I could write a similar bit for women, of course, because our caring energy also makes you feel more balanced. It's *our* most valuable gift...our cute curves notwithstanding!)