OCD versus addiction

Submitted by freedom on
Printer-friendly version

What’s the difference? Is addiction a manifestation of OCD or vice versa? Can they operate together and separately?

I’ve noticed with the changes that came this year that my brain gets very focused on one source of dopamine. This source is usually sexual and not porn or vandalism masturbation. My brain has upped the ante. That sought dopamine can flip flop as long as there is one option to focus on. It only seems to blur during the switching. This seems more OCD like. Even porn will not hijack this seeking. It's never the hit. I watch these cravings with a chuckle. Fighting them is like temporary withdrawal, maybe worse. I see how my brain is trying to distract me from all the other tasks I don’t want to do so that I can do those tasks without noticing as much that I don’t want to do them. The brain is sneaky as can be. It will try everything, seeking sleep, seeking stimulants, various binging, etc. all with the purpose of kicking me over the edge to get that dopamine fix. It’s an all-out attack from multiple fronts. This dopamine fix is entirely unsatisfying beyond the meager pleasure/pain of that moment. It doesn’t serve any real purpose. Why doesn’t the brain get as focused on useful pursuits? I could be out socializing and have little interest in the interaction. Then I’m home and my brain starts to drive me nuts. I can get hyperfocused on projects at times. I guess this is the same circuitry in use then. I seem to have little control over it. All these years living with this brain and it’s as untamed as any wild creature. Maybe I have to stop trying to tame it. Keep a list of stuff to do, and when these cravings come look at the list and let my brain run anyway it wants within those confines. I’m not sure it will go. It will probably just get sneakier.

Whatever this madness is, it is different and so I see it as progress. If I could shift this seeking to real women...maybe I should be careful about what I want. I'd like this stage to move on because it is very tough to get anything productive done when like this.


Which brain? Sometimes I

Which brain? Sometimes I think I have a few of them (we sort of do). Of course I want snuggling, closeness, and so on. I'm tired of the hijacking into a world of utter nonsense.

Maybe what I want is somehow outside my mental reality to the point that my brain just flips over to these other ideas. Or maybe this is part of some inner nemesis' ploy to make it harder to get what I want.

what I mean is

somehow a lot of cuddling and snuggling makes these issues moot, at least for me. Maybe oxytocin increases or something. But there is evidence and I think my experience shows that stopping a habit is much, much easeir when you are laying around with the one you love for prolonged periods of time. If you are so lucky as to have one you love.

emerson wrote:

[quote=emerson]If you are so lucky as to have one you love.[/quote]

What's luck got to do with it? One thing the PUA folks might have correct is that the societal programming that relationships are luck is nonsense. It's only luck if one stays passive and unconscious. This plagues both men and women, perhaps more so men.

I'm not so sure.

Pick up artists (I imagine that's what PUA stands for) aren't usually successful, I suspect, in finding someone who has a strong commitment to healing. They'll find women who are vulnerable to sexual politics. I've been looking for a partner for years and have pretty much given up. I've tried pretty much everything I can think of including imagining one. The women around here, just aren't interested. They certainly aren't interested in a connection that is about mutual support and healing at the depth I need it.

Recently I've been looking at ways to keep myself from repressing my energy. My own particular motivation is the effect it has on my physical health. So I've been exploring a meditative technique that involves concentrating my focus on the root of my penis (1st chakra). It feels good. It also stirs up alot of energy which was disturbing (and frightening) to me given how much time I spend in my head. So I worked on an affirmation to start dealing with my fears: "I express my energy in ways that are healthy to me and socially acceptable.". Things went alot better after that.

My understanding is that "Love" (the root of all healing) isn't something you can "do". You can create the environment. You can prepare for it. And then you have to wait. It's a bit of a paradox. So I can understand someone who thinks it involves luck. I can also understand someone who thinks it involves work. I think it involves both.

Yes, I use PUA liberally. The

Yes, I use PUA liberally. The more evolved portions of that community do not focus on pickup. Rather, it is more of a social dynamics meets men's movement. By being our best male selves, women will find us. I've found it a relative waste of time and energy to seek women. It seems waiting might be the only option while developing the self and surroundings in the meantime.

I can relate to this feeling

I can relate to this feeling of OCD coming on as a replacement to the acting out. This has been my experience too. It reminds me that abstinence is different from recovery. Recovery involves dealing with the issues. It's no wonder the addiction is manifesting in other ways. Abstinence is just one part of recovery. Part of addiction is trying to escape any way that we can, procrastination and perfectionism are just other destructive avenues we use to do this. You are right, we are dopamine feigns. Dopamine hits Coe from all types of compulsive behaviors. Consider cutters, very compulsive. That's just one way to act out, imagine all the different types of obtaining these dopamine hits in the mind- fantasy, anticipation, technology. Our minds are like dope feigns still.

What we can do are activities that delay gratification- exercise, studying, work, etc. but we can still crack these out too. These are at least things that support our goal. These will at least help in occupying our mind to keep us abstinent. Ultimately we want to recover and that requires being present with ourselves and the moment. Not too good at this either, but I hear meditation is helpful.