Day 141 update- looking for guys to join me

Submitted by recovering on
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Hey everyone, wanted to give a little update and see if any other guys are interested in joining me on a little project.

I'm on Day 141 of no PM. I had successful sex last weekend and it was a positive experience. I never really had ED problems, but I did have delayed ejaculation problems, weaker erections, and all of the low confidence/lack of focus stuff. I feel like I still need to rewire (I'm thinking I'm probably going to need a consistent partner) but I feel mostly healed. Sex came very late at night and after a long day of drinking and I noticed that my erection wasn't as hard as I would like it to be. That was understandable, I was still extremely sensitive, my recovery time was good and it was a good experience for both parties. However, I've been thinking about the experience and feeling my body over these past few days and I still feel like something's missing from my recovery. And I feel like it's something that I can't just sit around and wait to happen- like I still need to actively do something.

Well, I think what I actively need to do is this:

I started getting into mindfulness stuff a couple years ago. When I started getting into, I started learning about how to go into my body and move energy through different parts. So, when I read the above article, it made a lot of sense to me. The day I read it (back at the beginning of my reboot), I gave the technique a try and discovered that I couldn't go into my genitals in the same way that I could the rest of my body. This fact had grazed my mind in previous experiences of feeling my inner body, but the article and the experience really brought the problem into focus. Throughout my reboot, I tried this technique several times. Every time that I did it, I had the same sensation- strain to feel my genitals in the same way I could feel the rest of my body. But I also noticed that on the same day I tried the technique, I had more movement down there, later in my reboot I had more spontaneous erections, the erections I had were harder without any extra effort on my part, and that region of my body just generally felt healthier. Most recently, I tried it and felt like I could suddenly "flex the tip of my penis" and make it fill with blood, rather than just flexing my PC muscle and hoping the effort went all the way down the shaft. Does that makes sense? In short, I think the technique provides tangible results. I just didn't do it with enough consistency to see sustained results. At this point, I can create the sensation of heat in every other part of my body except my genitals (I can sort of do it a little in them). I still feel very cut off from my penis. This isn't surprising given how much guilt/shame/abuse have occurred in that area over the years. But it's time to overcome all of that.

My plan is to do the technique mentioned in the article, twice/day for 15 min/session for 4-6 weeks. I really think that this is the last step for me and that I'll be 100% ready to go after this. Right now, I feel 85-90% even after close to 5 months. Now, I think I would improve without doing this technique if I found a steady sexual/cuddling partner. However, my current situation still prevents me from doing that and I still just feel like the degree to which I'm cut off from feeling my penis needs to be dealt with.

What I would like is if other guys joined me in doing these exercises at this level of consistency so we can compare results. I think this could be especially helpful for guys who have had a really long reboot and haven't seen results in a while. Marnia has mentioned in the past that these types of energy flow exercises could be helpful for guys, especially the ones with the long difficult reboots. But I also think they could be helpful for guys at all stages of their recovery process. So, if you're interested, please respond and let me know you're on board and I'll try to organize us better. Also, I'm going to make this same post on Cheers.

A couple other notes:

A couple other notes:

-I still rarely have morning woods. However, I think that could be the product of a caffeine addiction, drinking alcohol before bed, and poor sleep habits (like falling asleep fully clothed with the lights on for 3-4 hours)

-My goal is to have the type of erections that I did when I was a teenager. You know, like the raging ones that you could, like, bat around. Now, I realize I'm not a teenager anymore (I'm 27), but I still think I'm capable of having those every now and then so I want to try for them.

-I'm also going to change my cardio workouts. I was in a lot better shape when I was younger too- I'm going to start sprinting and pushing my body to fire and explode again rather than the long slow distance stuff I've been doing.

I'm trying to visualize heat

I'm trying to visualize heat without any touch or muscular movement. I'll have to do some experiments. The energy is then flowing along the direct nerves as opposed to short-circuiting that with hand touch.

What part of the genitals do you plan to focus on? Or the region as a whole?

How apparent is this warmth?

I want to make the warmth to

I want to make the warmth to be something like the heat you feel when you've done a little workout (nothing devastating) and just sit there and feel the blood pumping through your body. I plan to focus on my PC muscle and the base of my penis at first and eventually be able to feel all the way down the shaft and into the head.

I think the best way to experiment is to draw your attention into your dominant hand. Try to feel it from the inside down to the smallest detail. If you can do that, you'll start being able to feel the heat that sort of corresponds to blood pumping but not exactly. Try clapping really hard a few times before you do it. Or stick your hand under very warm (but not scalding) water. Anything to get blood pumping. It's much easier that way I've found.

I think I can do this to some

I think I can do this to some extent. Maybe I didn't realize what I've been doing. I don't tend to sit with the feeling for extended periods. I also find that at some point I go to flex something and that can break the connection.

I don't usually feel this as blood pumping. When you say that do you mean the feeling of your pulse somewhere in the body? What I feel is more of a mindful awareness.

It seems it would be challenging to have this presence during sex. Maybe that's unnecessary and this is just a drill to open these channels.

Yeah, mindful awareness is

Yeah, mindful awareness is what I'm talking about. So just use the mindful awareness to create the pleasant sensation of warmth. I think blood pumping just gives you something to be more aware of and I think it's easier to be more mindfully aware when your body is warmed up.

I think a goal with sex would be to keep at least some level of mindful awareness of your body at all times, even if it's just an anchor rather than an intense presence throughout the experience. Isn't that what karezza is all about? Total presence with no goal of orgasm? Though I would like to be able to be more mindfully aware of my penis while still planning to orgasm.


There are also a couple of guys from yourbrainrebalanced who have already agreed to join. I want to wait a couple more days to see if anyone else wants to join up at the start. Plan to start sunday morning. I'll send out more info before then.

Dude any kind of intense workout

Will force blood everywhere. Do interval training ( insanity p90x crossfit type stuff) and you will be sleeping better in enter shape and will be popping more erections. Also more confidence talkin to women after a rugged workout like that.

I've been doing those type of

I've been doing those type of workouts for resistance training but not for strictly cardio. I also think that I'm in good enough shape at this point to make the judgment that it's not a "blood pumping problem" if you will. I'm continuing to up the intensity of my workouts though so maybe that will help too.

Yeah that's not what I meant

Those exercises will create growth hormone and blood pumping Into you body parts will help you to " feel them" better and it is also good in general for blood to pump throughout your body as it delivers macro and micronutrients to your organs and muscles.

Progress so far

I've meditated twice for 15 mins yesterday and I've gotten an erection while doing so and it felt very cool to have inner peace.

I will continue to meditate to receieve my full benefits