Hi, this is my first post here. I discovered YBOP a while back (Thanks so much for creating that site!) and I'm feeling ready to break this addiction and live life to the fullest! I thought that by posting here it might help strengthen my resolve. Also, if my experience can be of any help to others that would be even better.
I've had a pretty serious addiction since I was about 13 and I'm 26 now. The addiction was pretty strong for a long time but, became even stronger a couple years ago after I broke up with the woman I'd thought I'd marry. Soon after I had convinced my self that women were too selfish and too much trouble so I'd just replace them with porn. It eventually got to the point where I'd often spend at least 4-5 hours every night trying to find the perfect video or image. Pretty sad when I think about it! Sometimes I would even call in sick to work and spend all night on the computer. I wouldn't realize how much time went by until I saw the sun rising. I knew I had a serious problem. Also, I have been struggling with anxiety and depression since I was 13 just about the same time I started using porn on a regular basis. I never saw that there might be a connection there. By great luck I discovered YBOP and every thing made sense.
So, here I am now, five days in. Honestly, I'm feeling pretty bad. My anxiety is through the roof and I have this terrible brain fog. In fact it's difficult to even think clearly enough to write this. But, at the same time I feel determined. Determined to conquer my vices. Determined to be the person I've always wanted to be. Determined to help others in life and make this world a better place. I'm comforted by Laozi's words that " A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". One step, one day at a time, I can do that :)