first karezzaesque session total disaster need help!

Submitted by danny on
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Hello people of me and my girlfriend practiced karezza maybe about a week ago here is what went done we were cuddling naked (a first for us we both thought it would be a good idea) and lightly stroking each other but she really wanted to do more so it basically shifted into very hot foreplay she was trying to get me to orgasm but I always motioned her hand away and I definitlely didn't orgasm though I lost quite a lot of "fluid".

I think what we did was edging... after the session I felt very exhausted and afterwards we have had our first fights of our entire relationship and she does not want to talk about anything related to sex at all even though before we were both very open about the topic and mostly our relationship lately has been nothing but bickering upon bickering upon bickering etc...

So I guess I have two questions what can we do to avoid this ever happening again and how long do you think it will take until the coolidge effect ends (or if it ever does)

I'd guess that a lot

of 1st karezza experiments experiments end that way. Pardon

I wish I had the key to making women come to their senses about why it's important to stop proving their femaleness by making their partners boil over (or have to fight themselves for control). Sure it's fun, but it's also shortsighted. Or more precisely, mindlessly biologically driven.

Edging can cause a neurochemical "hangover." If you can't stick to tame bonding behaviors, it's much better to connect genitals and lie still than to engage in hot foreplay - and then stop right before a fence.

Try to forgive each other, laugh it off, and take a much slower approach. Do you have Cupid? If not, I can email you a copy of the playful activities from the back. More can be found in the lefthand margin "Bonding Behaviors & Exchange of the Day"

a few thoughts

You can be in one place and your girlfriend another. This happens all the time with people.

And what you and she say when you are calm and relaxed, versus what you do when you are heated up, is entirely different.

When people are heated up, aroused, it is called a hot state. And we will do things in a hot state we would never otherwise do when we are "normal".

Your girlfriend is conflicted because perhaps she wants one thing in normal mode, and quite another when she is in a hot state. She may have wanted you to have intercourse with her during this hot time, and she certainly wanted you to come, and this may not be what she would have wanted when she wasn't aroused. How common this is, to want one thing when "normal" and another when aroused! And she is maybe resentful and confused right now.

So, to avoid this ever happening and she have to be on the same page at some point and it doesn't seem like that is so right now. Bonding activities are the best. And it can take 2 weeks of good bonding to have its full effect...