Hey all...brand new to the forum and this subject (only learned about it 6 days ago).
So, just some quick background. As a young child, I was first introduced to "sex" and naked women in the form of pornography (my babysitter used to watch it when i was about 4 or 5 years old and practically forced me to watch it with her. I truthfully don't remember being touched by her, or sexually abused, but I do remember her routinely popping in porn VHS/tapes while my sister and I were next to her on the couch). I never told anyone about this until very recently (I don't want to derail the thread with this topic, or if she was reported to police, etc...but she wasn't, and god knows where she is now).
With that said, I grew up with an attachment to porn and seeing naked women on a screen (as opposed to in person), and actually grew content with this all of my life. Like others in this forum, I have a tendency to have a "lifeless penis" in certain situations with my current girlfriend (who is absolutely beautiful and a sex-freak and is not the cause of my limp-ness in any way, shape or form). About 75% of the time, she can be naked/doing sexual things, and she truthfully could be a wall or an intimate object, in the sense of me getting hard, being turned on and wanting to have sex. On the contrary, if an image of a naked girl is pulled up on my computer screen, I'm hard... in a matter of seconds and my drive is intense. She is extremely understanding of the situation and wants to work with me on it.
There's some times where I'm extremely horny and operate normally (on a sexual level), and we have great sex - This tends to be the case if I don't see her for 4-5 days. Then, after that initial orgasm (after not seeing her for 4 or 5 days), my drive is practically gone and my penis operates significantly less normally. Additionally, for the first 3 months of our relationship, I couldn't get hard AT ALL...only over the past 5 or 6 months have I been able to be turned on by her. I don't see this change as "progress", I just see it as a change in comfortable-ness with her and me being more mentally forceful. Sometimes, looking at her body does nothing for me, and at other random times, looking at her body can turn me on almost normally and I have an overwhelming urge for sex. (the drive seems random, almost, however, the former is much more common than the latter).
I've gone 8 days without seeing porn/ejaculating (PMO, i guess, as you guys refer to it as). However, I've been having sex/trying to have sex with her regularly... is having sex with her hurting my recovery process? How do I proceed in "re-booting" and healing? This is an issue I've had in every other relationship I've been in.
***I masturbated for the first time at the age of 5 years old (to porn/something on a screen)***
*If I'm away from my girlfriend for some time, thinking about her turns me on so much and I get hard as hell.
*If I see a naked picture of her, I get much more turned on then seeing her naked in person.
*We have sex without condoms (use birth control, etc)
*I'm looking for a long term fix, not just in this relationship, but in general for the rest of my life.
*I often find myself subconsciously touching my penis when something turns me on...it's as if contact/touching is the easiest way for me to generate a hard on (probably from masturbating at such an early age).
*It hasn't been THAT hard for me to not watch porn...I'm not sure if I'm an "addict" in the normal sense, but I do think my early exposure to it and watching it routinely since the age of 5 is significant.